Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Well, tonight's the night as everybody's getting ready to say goodbye to 2009 and say hello to 2010. I guess we're not only saying goodbye to a year but a decade as well. Some have firecrackers ready whiles others are stacking on the booze with their horns and anything that can make a loud noise. For me, I'm just thankful that we survived a very rocky year as well a very bad decade. When counting down is concerned, the only song that I can think of is the "Final Countdown" by Europe.
Right now, things are quiet but as the night starts to fall, don't be surprised that a lot of explosions and a drinking gonna take place. It's not about debauchery (well maybe a little)but to chase all the blues and crap away that happened during this year and boy, was there a lot of that. This year took a lot out of me emotionally that there were times when the stress really got to me. The already fragile bond that we had was further damaged this year. Good all's well and ends well shined through in the end.
I have a lot of hopes and wishes for this year, but I also realize that it won't fall on your lap and simply wishing won't make it come true. You gotta move is you want it to happen and that's what I plan to do. I want to really make things happen and I hope this time around, I get right. One I will ask on Christmas and New Year is that me and my family stay together; that we be protected from all harm and that we will be happy together. Well, Happy New Year to all and may it usher in the changes we all hope for.
Well tomorrow's the last day of 2009. Everyone's preparing for round two of the holidays as some are stacking on booze while others are buying firecrackers to blow the bad year and still some are making resolutions that might be fulfilled in 2010. For me, I already know what I am going on that night, yet sometimes the past still lingers in my soul,especially when it comes to the wrong that was wrought upon me some people. It pisses me off that they can just forget about they did, but despite all that kept my peace during Christmas and my other brother reminded me to uphold the "truce" that night. When I hear the Oasis' song "Don't Look Back In Anger", I find that difficult, especially when I got crap poured on me even though I didn't do anything.
I'm not a prideful man,in fact, I'm very easy going to the point of being too "nice" as my friend always pointed out as my flaw. Still, I'm tired of always being the guy who becomes the victim during the crossfire while the real targets get away. True, I wanted everyone to be here, yet I'm disappointed that some people have short-term memories of the crap that they dish on others. I mean I've seen cold-blood serial killers who remember each and everyone of their victims, yet these guys tend to forget what they did, just like some jerk in a cartoon or anime who is too proud to admit their mistake, let alone their bad actions on others. I th think that's even worse.
I know that as the new year draws near, I should just chuck all that anger away. However, when people forget, there's possibility that it will happen again and it will be committed by the same people. For tomorrow, my plan is to open the bottle of whiskey that I bought and just watch the sky light up with fireworks. I don't if we learned anything from this year but I do hope next year will be a better year for all of us. Though I haven't for the deed, for now, I will just keep my peace and as the new year dawns, I'll try not to look back in anger.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Well, in a few days it will round two of the holiday celebrations. Right now, I can't believe that new year will soon be here and as I look back, I remember all that's both good and bad. I have to admit I didn't this year very much because though it started out well, there was too much bad blood that came out. Yet in those bad times, there were people who gave me some support that things will work out in the end. When I think about all my hopes for the coming new year and the people who gave me support when I needed it, I remember the song "Hey Jude" by The Beatles.
From what I read from Wikipedia, Paul Macartney wrote this song for Julian Lennon but John thought the song was either about him or Paul. Anyway, this song is about lifting the spirits of those who were at an emotional low. I had to admit, I have been that way since the second have of this year when all that commotion started. Despite a temporary lull, things got blown out again, not to mention another set of disappointments that really added insult to injury. Thankfully though, things calmed down just in time for the holidays as everyone like we used to which is what I had hoped for and allayed my fears.
I just hope that next year will be a better year. That of course will depend on what we have learned from this year. My biggest frustration is that my efforts haven't bore any results after so much consultation and research. I hope next year will be the year. Despite all my personal wishes, one thing that I do hope is that bonds will once again be strengthen and the good times will here again and I thank all those who made me realize that things will better if I truly believe in them.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Music sure has taken a lot of forms through the years. These days there are several genres such as pock, R & B, Soul, rap , blues, jazz, ballads and so on and so forth. Then there is of course rock and roll which now different categories such as country, blues, rap, alternative heavy metal and even rap metal and the list goes on. For me no matter what the classification, it will always be rock and roll. I totally agree with Billy Joel on his song "It's Still Rock And Roll To Me".
I was never one to follow trends, but I when songs sounds, I know it's good. When it came to the slang, the fashion and what not, I was never really good at it. I was never into trends because I believe that good music never goes out of style. No matter how much has changed, what is important is that the essence of rock and roll is still there. If it sounds good and you can listen to it with your buds and bros, then it's worth listening to through the years.
These days, I don't listen to the radio anymore, except on 24K Weekend. I guess my time has past and I am content with the good songs that I hear on 24K. I don't what the new trend is and I guess I should just leave to the young. Be that as it may, I hope that someone out there shares the same belief as I do about good music. Remember no matter what the trend, it's still rock and roll to me and that is what's important.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
You know, I've said so many times but I believe I was born in the wrong decade when I heard the Grudge music in the 90's. Don't get me wrong, I liked the great rock songs that I grew up listening to but there was something that I was missing during my time that I didn't get in the 90's and that was trying to get my inner frustrations out. A lot of that decade's song really described the frustration, pessimism and pent-up anger that a lot of young people feel when they were growing up. In that decade, they would not be silent about. The best song that describes teen-aged angst is Nirvanna's song "Smells Like Teen Spirit".
I remember reading an article on my magazine about what new adults thought about the past generations and many of them harbored some resentment on the ideas that they preached which never came to be. I guess that's where the mocking part about "entertain us" comes into play". The dark setting of the song is big opposite to the tunes of the 60's, 70's and even the 80's. It clearly describe the disappointment and anger that that generation had due to the fact that they felt their past-counterparts blew it and sold out. What was left was a lot of social and moral problems that they had to deal with.
Just as it was at the height of its success, Grudge suddenly faded away and went back to the underground. It was just too deep and the style just wasn't for the fashion conscious. Still, I'm glad that even for a little, there was a voice for all those who had so much kept inside them. It was good while it lasted and things were a bit different for a change. Still, people can't stay angry forever and have to move on.
Friday, December 25, 2009
I have to admit, the one thing that didn't like about 80's music was it was too "synthesized". Despite the fact that there were a lot of good tunes, something was missing and that was the good old funk. When the 90's came in, music that only a few listened to back then, suddenly became mainstream and the best part about is apart from grudge and alternative music, many had that good old 60's and 70's funk to it. One such song was a remake by the Black Crowes called "Hard To Handle".
One thing I love about this song is that it came out when my hair was at its longest and my beard was at its thickest. Everytime I hear this song, I can't help but groove to it. For some reason, I really feel good when I hear it. If you're wearing 70's outfit, you wouldn't be ashamed of it when you hear this song. Makes you really want to act out the decade.
I don't listen to anything new anymore unless it's by a band that I always listen to. They just don't move me anymore because most of the time, they sound like people whining and they try to make excuses for themselves. Unlike that crap, this song and others from this band is the type you listen to with buds along with a couple of brewskies while having a good time. They don't make good songs like this anymore. It really puts the funk back in rock.
Well, I thought we wouldn't be able to put all together but somehow all the preparation are complete for Christmas Day. Today we celebrate the Big Guy's birthday which is a big day for all of us whether we are Christians or not. Festivities have been rocking since last and tonight is the culmination. There's one thing that I want for Christmas right now and that is to see everyone here. The anticipation and anxiety that I feel when the hour has dawned reminds me of Bon Jovi's version of the song "Please Come Home For Christmas".
When the holidays are here, my fear is that nobody will come. Though so far, I've been proven wrong, several bad developments that have happened over the years have only increased my my anxiety. Especially last year when we were incomplete due to a bad dispute. This year, another dispute erupted which once again gave me cause with worry. Man, doesn't anyone learn from the mistakes made by other? One for sure, it really ruins the holidays.
Well, I forsaken all other wishes just to see everyone here tonight. That is enough for me because on Christmas, family comes first. I know I'm not the only who knows and feels this way about the holidays. I just they have in them to call a truce this time around. Well, let's not forget it's Boss Jess' day today and honor him. Despite my anxiety, I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Here's Hoping That All This Preparation Was Worth It : Jingle All The Way By The Brian Seltzer Orchestra
I can't believe that tomorrow is Christmas Eve. The past few days, I'm really weary from frantic shopping and preparing for this the most festive of occasions. Still, with all the bad blood that's been brewing, I also have my apprehensions. With all the big spending that we are doing, it better be worth it. The Brian Seltzer Orchestra's version of "Jingle All The Way" makes me miss the good mood that the holidays use to bring when all this preparation was worth it.
That feeling of excitement as food is cooked; the presents are in the tree and everyone is here and full of good spirits is what Christmas is all about. Lately, there are some stooges out there who spoil the mood and ruin the holidays to suit their own ends. It stinks when we bust our butts to ensure a good holiday and someone with a sullen mood wants to drag everyone down. Due to this, what was once a feeling of excitement might be replaced with apprehension. Sometimes I wonder if they are aware of what they are doing and of the repercussions of their actions?
Well, I pray for the sake of the others that this holiday will not be ruined. If these people do ruin, be ready for the consequences. Don't be surprise if everybody ignores you and nobody helps you. If that, happens they have only themselves to blame. So I hope that the holiday will have same happy mood as this song which will make all of this preparation worth it.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Lately, I've been having flashbacks about the house in KM 16 where we used to live. Most of those memories revolve around the last two years that we occupied the place before we packed up and moved. I still remember the long road which was scary when I walked home and the many rooms where we slept and laughed, but most of all, I remember the last few blasts that we had back then. Part of me still can't believe that we stayed there that long and had a lot of good times. Remembering those last to years makes me want to remember the song "Good" by Better Than Ezra.
It was during that time that I have gotten over one of my "bad cycles" and life was starting to be good again. My freedom was at an all-time high and I spent my weekends any way I saw fit. Yet at that time a change was already starting as my father started scouting for a new house to live in and all of a sudden pieces of the furniture started to be taken out of the house until the day came that we all packed our stuff to move to a new place. Finally the day came where we said goodbye to the place where a lot of good times took place; more importantly, it was our own private idaho where we ruled.
It's been 10 years since then and I've gotten over another "bad cycle" in my life. These days I try to be more responsible and hope that I don't make the same mistakes again. I guess now is the time to spread out and find your place in the world (though I'm still haven't accomplished that). Still, a lot of times my mind wanders back to that place and the good times that we share when we were young. Those were crazy and good times and by God it was great living there.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Lately, I feel that I'm box in. I guess this is because I haven't been going out and my life have become to monotonous. Wake up then go to work and after that, go home and go to bed. Quite frankly, I feel very dull from all this monotony. I've been missing the good old days when we'd go and share a few drinks with good friends which reminds me of the song "Hot In The City" by Billy Idol.
Ah, freedom sooo sweet back then. When Friday rolled along, there was never a dull moment as we partied at home, a friend's house or in a good watering hole. Either way, the night was always a success and all the bad vibes from the previous was washed away thanks to a few brewskies and good buds to boot. To keep the memory alive, we'd always talk about it, especially who past out or who heaved first ( I have to admit, I was the usual suspect). I guess never really appreciated the tolerance as well as the trust of my parents at the time because they let us go partying despite the fact that we'd go home late and stewed.
Well, today is another mattter. With Felonius M.I.A. and a lot of responsibilities to deal with, there's little time for gimicks like that. Especially now that there are people depending on me, I really need to focus on priorities first. Still, when settle down, the good times will roll again. After all, all work and no play will make any boy or girl for that matter, dull.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
As I've said before, one of the why a lot of hopes went down the tubes was because I didn't fight for it. Wishing for something and making it real can be two different things. If you don't have what it takes to make it so, don't be surprise if it doesn't. That's a lot a lately and right now, I sick and tired of it. When I think of the futility of it all, I listen the song "Never Surrender" by Triumph to get some inspiration to get some adrenaline pumping.
Though the title with my previous entry using Corey Hart's song as well as the fact that both he and the band are from Canada is where the similarities end. This has a rougher edge to it and it's one of my favorite rock songs when I was growing up. Right now I am changing my mindset because before, a little setback and I'd just give and walk away. This time around, I don't want to work my way through the pain and come out fighting. I don't give until I accomplish what I set out to do.
Right now I am in the midst of something that I am working on in the hopes that it will make my life a little more stable. It wasn't as easy as I thought and I am trying my best to apply what I have learned. Despite all the obstacles, I won't back down and no matter how long it takes, I will figure this out. Once I do, it's sky's the limit.
It's high time I get out of my shell and do something to improve my life. I have to admit, when change comes, it takes time for me to adjust. That doesn't that I will give up. I want to make this come true and I won't stop until I do. No matter what, I won't surrender until I have conquered.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Every weekend, I make sure that my MP3 player is fully charge and that I wake up as early as I can. The reason: It's 24K Weekend! It's only on this period that all the old and rare songs in past come alive on the airwaves as fans which includes myself keep their ears glued to the radio. We wait in anticipation for our songs or call and text the DJs for what we want to hear and hope for it to played. The song "Pilot Of The Airwaves" by Charlie Dore sums up this weekend ritual for us 24K fanatics.
I'm pretty sure I'm not alone out there as I anticipate the weekend where past comes alive thanks to these classic and rare hits. Apart from radios and MP3s and 4s ready, we either scramble for the phone or make sure our cellphones are loaded with text credits so we can ask for our favorite songs. Once we get our request through, we keep ours on the radio and wait for the song to be played. When we to hear it from beginning to end, we jump for joy and ask for the next song as fast as we can. When the next comes by, we do it all over again.
Why do we do this? The answer is because many were heard only on RT when we growing up and many of them are part of the best times of our lives. It's different when you play them on the air because you feel that the song is out there and the fact that is not in your collection, makes you want to hear all the more. More importantly, you share them with today's generation just to see how great these tunes were. In the end, I leave it all to the dj and hope that he or she will play my request. It's a ritual that I'll on the weekend because only 24K can past come to life again.
I can't believe that in a few more days it soon be Christmas. Right now there are parties that are happening left and right. As people toast and cheer, the celebration is now on full swing for the whole month. Still, the most important party is of course that which is spent with family. Even the food is simple and the presents are cheap, so long as everybody's there to celebrate only then can it truly be Christmas. When I hear the song "Christmas Morning" by The Eraserheads, I know I am not alone in hoping that everyone will be there on that most sacred time of the year.
I got the call from my mother this afternoon about what plans are in store for us next week. Despite assurances, I will not be at peace until everybody is there. As I've said before, the last two years have been an emotional roller coaster which just went full throttle this year. A lot of bad mistakes gave rise to bad blood which really caused a lot of damage to the "bond". I just hope that on Christmas Day there would be a truce or a halt to all this because the last one wasn't very good and I've been praying that this year would be different.
I am willing to keep the peace if it would mean that everyone is there. I know grudges are hard to let go but for that day, let's take a break. These days I remember the past Christmases that we use to have and I want that back. If the army and the rebels can call a truce on the holidays, so can families. Despite all that's been said and done, family is still important on Christmas morning.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Back in the past, even though there weren't any fancy gadgets, life was simple but good. There weren't that too many distractions and parents always had time to pay attention to their kids. These days parents aren't around so much and the kids are amuck most of the time. They do crazy things and when they get in trouble, the parents don't know what to do. A lot of times, they want others such the teachers or counselors to do their jobs for them as several distractions take their kid's attention, leading to the wrong path. When I think about all these distractions and what it does to the young, the song "21st Century Digital Boy" by Bad Religion comes to mind.
With all the new technology such as the internet, cellphones, ipods, Mp3s and all those computer games, kids are so hooked on them that they care about nothing else. Sometimes they just gotta have it, they don't care about anything else. Because of the way things are, both parents have to work to make ends meet and are too tired to see to the kids. The result are a bunch of kids who are hooked on all these gadget who have no guidance on what to do in life. I maybe exaggerating but during my brief stint at teaching, this is always the reason why kids are a now quite a pain in the butt.
Technology is suppose to be there to help us not polllute our minds. Unfortunately, such is the case with today's kids as they would rather text or stay glued to the net rather than pay attention to what is really important. There's no guidance and material rather than moral or spirtual development is what they value. Sometimes I wonder if the next generation is going to be different? I sure hope so.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
The holidays are now picking up with everybody wondering what to do next week. As for me, as the day draws near, it serves to heighten my anxiety. What I thought was a good year, turned even worse than last year. If things really fall apart, I fear this animosity is just grow even more. With all this wearing me down, I find myself wanting to listen to the "Where Have All The Good Times Gone" By Ray Davies And The Kinks.
Right now, mind is on Christmas past when we were all together getting totally plastered and living life up day in and day out until the holidays ended. Yesterday, things were cool and you lived life like there was no tomorrow. Today is a different story with lousy low-paying; the cost of living going up the roof and people's self-centeredness destroying once strong "bonds". What was a feeling of excitement is near replaced with a feeling of dread as one wonders if the night will be peaceful, let alone a success. I guess I'll find out next week whether I like or not.
It's easy to get off this ride but for some reason I ride out to the bitter end(in this case, even to the bitter begining). I miss the days of the whiskey bottle being passed out and all that smoke that we'd cough up before going to mass totally plastered. More importantly, I miss the feeling of that strong "bond" made us stand out from the rest which strengthened even more during the holidays. I just hope things work out in the end. Still, I really find myself asking where have all the good times gone?
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Yesterday, I just celebrated my birthday and just around the corner is Christmas followed by New Year (Yes Christmas, I am to say that and I won't let any politically correct moron say otherwise. If you have any other holiday to celebrate in this period then by all means say the name because it symbolizes the best time of the year). Sadly, for reasons I won't mention, the last two celebrations weren't that good and it seems that rifts which were caused earlier are to a head on the holidays of all time. Right now the wish that I made for my birthday is the same as the one for Christmas. The song " Peace In Our Time" by Eddie Money best sums up what I wish for.
The nine years sure was beating for me and I'm not alone because a lot of people out there are struggling. Yet despite all these struggles we're still and I guess that's a victory in itself. I just wish that there be more good times cause I been through so much of the bad. Through it all, faith, hope and love still shines through which means there's still a chance. Just believe a little harder and that's what I'm trying to do.
With the holidays coming up fast, I hope things work out in the end. I am willing to keep the peace and set aside my grudges even if some morons have either have forgotten their transgression or remain unrepentant for their foolishness. It's not for me but for my parents that I hope things pull through. I just hope for a complete gathering for their sakes because a long time ago I aside my grudges and now it's their turn. Who knows, maybe a miracle will happen if I just have a little faith, hope and love.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Back when I was in college, I remember when everybody was hanging in Where Else, Faces or Mars, I friend of mine mentioned a place where they played rock music called "Red Rock" which was later renamed "Club Dredd" which today is one of the best spots for up-and-coming or famous rock bands to play in. When he told me about, I thought I finally found a place where I can go to and listen to the kind of music that I like while a brew with my friends and brothers. It did not disappoint as the drinks were cheap and the music as the company that you came with that night. I remember my friends' band who performed on stage and earned a good and more importantly, the good times that I had with everyone there. The song "Mainstreet" by Bob Seger echoes the memories of those great times that I had way back then.
Every time I hung out with my friends at that joint, I felt I was with my own people in a home away from home. A few good beers with a good was enough to make the evening cool. The best part of it all was that many of my friends from school who also had the same interest as me were there. We'd exchanged warm greetings, tell stories as we enjoyed our drinks and the music the band played which can't be beat. When the show was over , there was always the Schawarma shop to fill our bellies after a hard partying. After we had our fill, it was to head on home and rest zonked-out heads as another successful gimick came to a close.
Well I don't party much anymore and I heard that it has opened again at Libis(If anyone know of any updates to the bar's status, please put in my comments section). By this time, I guess the crowd is different and so is the music. I just they carry on the great party times that we use to do. I had a lot of fond memories of that place because for once, I found my own stomping ground and many of my friends were there too. I wish I had a copy of the group photo my friend took of us that night the bar closed and we sat on the stage. It was great bar with a lot of great memories to boot and I'll treasure all of them for the rest of my life.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
You know it's incredible when people get mad around here, they think that they spread all over the place. The problem is that a lot of these jerks take their anger out on those who didn't do anything and as a result they implant their anger to others like some net virus on a computer. Pretty soon everybody's angry and no one wants to talk to each other because they think their anger is more righteous than the other guy. When it comes to spreading hate and anger, there are a lot of people who do it pretty well. Suicidal Tendencies' song "I'll Hate You Better" is appropriate for these kinds of jerks.
Let's face it, once in a while, there are times something happens which causes the root of all this anger. Unfortunately, when people get mad they tend to vent their anger on some innocent bystander and not the one caused all of it. The result is creation of more angry people and when that happens, bridges are burned and walls are erected with each thinking his or her anger is the more righteous. When that happens, more people get hit in the cross fire and they start spreading the hate around. Those who spread the anger sometimes realize what they have done because in they're mind, they had a right to be angry. Well, the news is what goes around, comes around pal and don't hit by brink on you're way in.
You know all right to be angry, but direct your anger on those who caused. In some cases, these @#$$@ are quick to forgive the culprits and have a brew with them. Man, what short memories you got but for those you offended, they don't forget and don't even try to justify your stupid acts because when you do that, you're like felons who are trying to get off the hook. Well right now, the seeds of hate are sprouting and don't know if anyone notices. I guess that's because they're is better (What Jerks!!!.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
As I have said a lot of times, what I like about 99.5 rt's 24K program is that they play all the great songs that I grew up with, a lot of which were made famous by the station way back then. Many of them were one-hit wonders whose sound still echoes in my mind and my heart. A lot of these songs make me stop what I am doing and savor the song no matter how faint the sound. A lot of these rare tunes I have started posting in my blog to share with readers and reflect the mode of my posts. Another song that I have found from the past is the song "Mary Anne" by Marshall Crenshaw.
I thought the Nitty, Gritty Dirt Band played this song but I was mistaken. Still I like this song the first time I heard it and it goes up there with "Got A Hold On Me" by Christie McVee and the all-time favorite "Opposites Do Attract" by the Allsports Band. It's about a guy who really wants to open his true feelings for a girl named Mary Anne and it got a lot of airplay back in 1982 during the best times of my life. Like all great 24K songs, I can't get enough of it every time I hear it and I don't want to get pulled away from until it's done. It is included in my top collection of 24K songs which I guard with my life.
Recently, I heard that Rt is presently trying to recover some of the songs that they have lost due to the change of ownership of the station. I wish them a lot of luck for it is a daunting task. Some of these song aren't even even on the web and nobody except the old DJs know about them. I hope they are able to get all them because they're worth they're weight in 24K gold. It's not 24k without them.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Man with the way things are, I am really getting depressed. It's bad enough that life is hard and you can barely get by. What makes it worse is that all the haunts that you go to and people you shared them with are no longer there. It's as if the world suddenly changed and you find yourself all alone with time having passed you by. The realization of that change and disappearance of all things you know makes me feel like listening to the song "Midnight Cruiser" by Steely Dan.
You can say that this is a continuation of my melancholic state. Right now, I wish Felonius was here cause I'd shake his hand, have drink and remember the good old days. Unfortunately, all my "Feloniuses" are M.IA. at a time I'd like to see them the most. When there's no one around and everything so different while your still in a rut sure is a real downer. I guess this is the consequence of wasting all that time and opportunity. You only get to go around the world once and you'll be lucky to get a second chance.
If I have a car, I'd go for a drive and see the sights just to chase the cobwebs out of my brain. I don't know where I would go but where that place is better than the one that I left behind. If the midnight cruiser were to pass by, I'd hitch a ride to where he's going. Being another gentleman loser, I'm sure he'll give me a ride. Hopefully, he'll take to where the good times are and where all the familiar faces would would light up and smile.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Ever had one of those days when things don't turn out right. What's worse is that as bad things start piling up, you do you're best not to loose it. Still everyone has their breaking point and then all of that pent up anger and frustration just explodes. When that happens, everybody looses. "Push" by Matchbox 20 clearly describes that urge we get when we vent our anger on others.
As I've said before, people tell that I'm too "nice" to the point of being a push-over. Still that doesn't that I don't get mad rather I just take in to keep the peace even if things are so unfair. The problem with this is that it just builds up inside until you can't take it anymore. With the way things are right now, I just feel so sad and mad at the same time. Everyday, I fight the urge to loose it.
These days, I'm learning to draw the line and tell people what really irks me when they go far. Sometimes keeping the peace only makes things worse. Still, that doesn't mean I want to push people around (not like some jerks out there get mad at those who didn't do anything but let the real culprit slip right pass them). I will not, however, take anymore crap from anyone because I know how to distinguish genuine reprimand from plan crap. For jerks like that, go find someone else to push around because I'm not taking it anymore.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Just Believe A Little More/Focus And Don't Quit: With A Lick Little Luck By Paul McCartney And Wings
In the movie "The Empire Strikes Back", the scene that really made an impression me was when Luke Skywalker was having a hard time with his training and he failed to lift the ship out of the swamp. After saying he can't do it, Yoda simply concentrated and lifted the ship effortlessly and set it on dry land. When Luke said he couldn't believe it, Yoda told him that's the reason why you failed. When you don't persevere, thing won't happen and you need to concentrate a little more. Learning lesson reminds me of the song "With A Little Luck" by Paul McCartney And Wings.
Looking back, I've seen too many things go down the tubes. Despite the many factors that led to the failure, I have to admit I lost the fire that time. Whenever things fall apart, it hurts because I really wanted to work out but it didn't. I am tired of that and this time I am not giving up until my efforts bear fruit. This time around I'm perserving not only for myself but for others around me.
This is why right now, I am really focusing all my efforts to make this work. I trying to learn everything that I can to ensure its success. There will mistakes but I will try not to let my fears get the better of me. If others have succeeded despite the odds, surely so can I. With a little luck and lot of focus and effort, this thing will work out.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
I know that this is a little out of season for the month but I'm feeling melancholic about the way things are so why not? In two weeks, it'll be my birthday again. Right now, I'm taking stock of where I am and where I'm heading to. When I think about what others have accomplished before me, that thought is starting to grow heavy on my mind. Thinking about that makes me want to listen to the song "Leader Of The Band" by Dan Fogelberg.
Right now I think about what others before me have accomplished compared to where I am now. I also think about generations past and how strong they were not give in to despair. They went through tougher times yet they still came out on top. Though things were simpler, back then the trials that they overcame and the accomplishments that they've made really makes us want to think about how our lives are right now. I want to make like they did and that's best way to honor those guys worked for what they built for us to enjoy.
I've made a lot of mistakes that's true. And it's seems that I have hard time shifting to the next gear. Be that as it may, I am determined to get things right. I know a lot of time and opportunities have been wasted but that's water under the bridge. If there was anything I wish for on my birthday is that I finally get things right and all that I am working will finally bear fruit. That's the only way I can honor the leader of the band.
Monday, December 7, 2009
As I've said before, listen to 24K Weekends is the best medicine one can get without shelling out for booze or popping a pill to relieve the stress. Lately, a lot of things have been happening and it sure is taking its toll on me. Things once again look very uncertain as the year draws to a close. I just turn the radio and let the music drift me to another place. One of latest additions to 24K that does the trick is from Lighthouse Family called "Lost In Space".
This was taken from the soundtrack of the movie from the same name. Like I said, a 24k song is the best sedative and this fits the bill. In terms of the video, I like part where they show these different landmarks, especially that giant angel in the middle of an open field covered with green grass. It has a good calming effect on me. If there was such a place to go to, I'd head there just to chill out.
I've been through a lot of stress but who hasn't. We go through life with a little tightness in the chest. What's important is that we make it through and complete our obligations for the day. When that's over and done, I listen to my 24K song which includes this one and chill out. Though I can't go there, I imagine that open grassy field and everything is all right.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
I never thought I'd find myself growing old and alone. I don't not getting married but lately, I haven't any of my friends, let alone had a brew with them and the realization of that got me really down. It's bad enough that things here are getting crazy by the minute and you're left all alone with no one to run to. Times like this, I wish that I could turn back time when everybody was here and life was easier to deal with. Though that everybody's gone and getting on with their lives while things are getting crazy around here reminds me of the song "So Far Away" by Carole King.
The worst part about all this is the things I wanted to do and be didn't happened. If they did, it would at least give me some consolation knowing I'm living the life I wanted. But the sad is truth is that I am not due to my own failure and other factors that lead to this deplorable situation that I am in now. Like I've said before there still some things that I want to do even if the others can no longer be which is why I am still restless. If only I can see some of my "inner circle" friends again, it would do wonders for me because these are few people who I really feel comfortable with outside my family who banish can banish the crap just by being with them.
It would really be good to see them again, especially now that things aren't very good. Just to have a small chat is enough to chase the blues away and with the holidays fast approaching, apprehension and melancholy are all that I feel. Be that as it may. I soldier on because I chose this path and nobody would take the job. Hopefully, this storm will past and the crap along with it. Though they may be far away, the memories of their jolly company will remain inside me and that helps me get through the day.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
When you're young, partying was something you did at a daily basis. Whether you're at a bar or at a friend's house so long as you had all the essentials, there's no way the night would flop. The stench of cigarette smoke and beer fizz would the air but it was okay so long as everybody had a good time and one sign of that was the amount of liquor being guzzled by the guest who were probably getting wobbly as the party went on. There was one particular ingredient that probably blasted away after a taste and everyone knew what it was just by the SMELL. That particular element makes me want to listen to the song "That Smell" by Lynrd Skynrd.
Back then, it was something that no party would be without. It can be taken in different ways but thing's for sure, once taken, it's time to go trippin. Some it a lot; some talk a lot; some laugh a lot; and some become statues once it's taken, especially if it's the really strong stuff. One good thing about it in parties is it cuts the cost in brews and hotch. Just remember to have some smoke screen ready cause some party pooper might not approve if they get a whiff of it.
Well, we don't party much anymore as commitments keep us busy. What I hear nowadays is that some go for the dangerous stuff which my book isn't cool especially if it's not natural. I don't know if they are doing it just to show the past generation that they're meaner and going to new heights. I'd still stick with the old stuff, for they where enough to knock me off my socks and they still do. Heck come this holiday, that's all that we need to make everything cool.
Friday, December 4, 2009
The first thing that comes to mind about the 80s for me was all about being "in" or "cool". It always having what was in style at the time and seeing stare at envy because you're the man. In my case, I was never one for that. I tried it for a while but in the end, it wasn't for me. The song "The Glamour Boys" by Living Color reminds of that need the young feel to be "in" with everyone else though they're not comfortable with.
I'll say it once and I'll say it again, all that fashion and to in those "must see" spots weren't my cup of tea. I was a retro-dude dud who was satisfied with the simple things. I use to drive my mother up the wall because rather than wear all those branded clothes, I opted for the cheap factory shirts which she gave her workers. I didn't want to go to a place just to be seen or rub shoulders with people I don't even know. I go where the place is warm and the people are cool because they accept you for who you are.
Thes "in" thing will never go away and there's always an incarnation of it in every generation. There'll always be someone there who'll try to squeeze their way in just to get a rep. That wasn't for me then and will never be for me ever. In the end, I'm no glamour boy and I am glad I'm not. I'm just an ordinary schmoe and proud of it.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
When you're young, every was there and hence, the bond was as strong as strong can be. Brothers and friends were all around and even we by ourselves, deep inside, the bond was always there. These days it's a different story with everybody looking out for themselves and bond is starting be just a mere shell of itself. As the year slowly draws to a close, I'm longing melancholic feeling again as wonder what happened and where has everybody gone? The song "Where Are You Now" by Nazareth echoes those feelings.
I'm also starting to miss the times when I can go out and clear my mind and head back home. The most that I can do right now is cast a long stare and take breath after getting off from work, yet it does little to give relief as I long for the good old days. In moments like that, I get lost in time as realize how routine my life has become. I'm beginning to feel like Commissioner Gordon in his old age when he felt his retirement coming and his illness was getting worse. I wish I see them again and be with them again just for one night to have drink and share laugh like the good old days.
Sometimes I'd like to linger a bit before going home but there are things to do as well so I hurry back. Hopefully this feeling and all bad things that shall past and good times will come alive. I may be wrong I know I'm not alone. Till then, I'll keep working on the things that need to be worked on. Still, I can't help but wonder where are they now?
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
I'm just soldiering on day by day even as a one bad thing happens after another. Right now with all the negative vibes, that's happening, I've been praying and hoping for the best even though things aren't exactly cool right now. Too much uncertainty is weighing deep inside me and though I know that others feel the same way, no one wants to talk about it. It's been a long time since I really feel good and I want to go to a place where I can just shake off and get myself totally renewed. Feeling that need, reminds of the song "In The House Of Stone And Light" by Martin Page.
Too many bad things have been happening lately and I think it's starting to get to me. I often feel sentimental and I miss the past more and more. It's bad enough I don't see my friends anymore and the "bond" is in shambles. Still, if this bitter situation is something that I have to face, then face it I will. I'm sick and tired of all this crap and I remove it out of my system. I know there's a place out there or a method that can these bad vibes out and I'm looking for it not only for myself but for those around me as well.
Storms are natural cycles and crap happens in life. It's just a matter of dealing with it. You know this song gives me hope that there is a way out of this. Just buckle up and keep your head clear. If you believe deeply and try hard, you'll find such a place or a solution that will just release you from all this. Till then, I'll keep looking because if it will help solve all this, it's worth the effort.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
hey that those with words are the ones who are able to to get things done. They can probably talk their way out of anything no matter how tight the situation gets. This is especially true when it comes to getting the person or the position that they want to get. Man, how some people do it is really puzzles me. When I think of people who could pull it off, I remember the song "Would I Lie To You" by Charles and Eddie.
The tune itself is so soothing that you get the feeling that you'd believe these two guys from the get-go. My brother often tells that there people out there who only have their mouths as their capital and are able to get things moving as well as generate results. These really know what to say at the right time and they say it to the right people. Any time and any place, people like these can automatically crank out the right words at an instant and walk away with money in the bank. More importantly, they soothe the savage beast which is keeps all of us in jitters and that's the reason why we keep them with us.
Only a chosen few are gifted with this talent. We cite different reasons as to how they do it like building up confidence or just sucking up, but either way, they pull it off. As for the song itself, I find it to be a cool song which calms me down whenever things go boom around here. I just wish a had this kind of ability and I know there are others who feel the same way. It's like having a fire extinguisher on hand just in case things start to heat up. In this house, that can happen anytime.
Monday, November 30, 2009
For those who read some of my entries in this blog already know that my life has had a lot of ups and downs (more down than up). When the downs hit, it hits hard and a lot of times it leaves me hurting. It seems that just when things are about to get better, they suddenly get worse. Be that as it may, I still want to get things in order as I struggle everyday to make do with what's left. The song "Take Me As I Am" by the band Tonic describes my current situation in a nutshell.
For obvious reasons, I liked this song the first time I heard it. Wrong decisions and bad results can really leave a guy emotionally scarred. Add to that the criticisms and insults that come from others who laughed at everything you say about what you think and want can sure destroy your confidence (asked any of them if they knew about it, let alone the consequence of what they said is futile because they'll probably won't remember what they did). Despite this, I am not placing the blame on others and in the end, all those mistake came from my error in judgment which is up to me to correct. Right now all I wanna change the way things are while there's still time because I'm tired of getting disappointed.
Like anyone else, I want a shot at redemption too. I'm still thankful that I am still here and that means there's still a chance to set things right. As much as it hurts, it's all in the past and I don't want to live in the past let alone repeat. I want to change things and be respected for what I am and what I believe in. To gain that will take a lot of work but I hope one day it'll be all worth it and when day comes, the hurting will finally stop and I will find some peace.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Right now I feel that I am being boxed in. With one bad development after another, I'm starting to hate this feeling of helplessness. One of the reasons why things are the way they are is because I guess I haven't given it all that I've got. Now faced with bad prospects and a bleak outlook, I guess I better try harder. Just like that song of Jefferson Starship "Laying It On The Line", I better take the bull by the horn.
This is one of those songs from the band that I liked before they pulled that "We Built This City On Rock And Roll" crap. Anyway, a lot of people who spoke to me told me the same thing and that is that nothing will change unless you make it happen. I have to admit, I've tried a lot of things and still, they aren't working. Other methods may have done more harm than good. Be that as it may, with everything going from bad to worse as well as that claustrophobic feeling that's starting to envelope me, I don't to go down like this.
Though I don't like to admit, these bad events have left me physically, mentally and emotionally weary. Yet a part of me, still doesn't want to give because I know that I'm close, but I still have to figure things out more. There's a lot at stake so I better make it quick. I better make a decision if I am going to lay all on the line.
Friday, November 27, 2009
I know I've mentioned this time and time again whenever I think about my school days. Every time the end draws near, I always have that urge to take a look back even during last few days before it's time to call it quits. Whenever the last exam is finished, I take time to go out and look at the horizon before I head for home. I guess the reason why I do that is because I try to take in everything that's come and gone during the school year. Accept all the good and the bad which has happened and what I have learned from it all before I start anew. Madonna's song " I Remember" reminds of the sentimental feeling I get when a chapter in my life has just ended.
This song was the soundtrack for the movie "With Honors" and it sure taught a lot of lessons of what life is all about. Ironically, it was set during the last few weeks of a batch students who are about to graduate when they learn something from a homeless man that they can't learn in college. You know with every year, you go through different experiences and whether it was good or bad, we learn something from and move on. Sometimes you take some time alone to fully absorb what you learn to make that you take it with you for the rest of your life. Hopefully whatever you learn and take with you will make you a better person.
Well next Tuesday is December which is the last month of the year. Already, that sentimental feeling is starting to creep up on me. If I wasn't so busy, I'd like to take a walk somewhere and do some reflection. Or just sit somewhere peaceful and take it all in. True, there has been more bad than good that happened this year, but there some good times. Good or bad, the best thing to is to keep them and learn from them to make the new year a better year.
Whenever a dance party is held, you will most likely find three kinds of people there: 1)Those who want to dance and have no trouble finding a partner; 2)Those who don't want to dance and head for cover when the music begins and 3)Those who want to dance but either doesn't have a partner or nobody wants to dance with them for some reason. You can probably count in in the second category cause so long as there's a watering hole, I'll seek shelter there. For those who fall in the third category, I feel sorry for them because they came there to dance with somebody but nobody's asking. It's big downer and what happens you feel like a kid whose excluded from all the play-time activities. When I hear the song "Dancing With Myself" by Billy Idol, I think about those guys and gals who want to dance with somebody but have a hard time doing so.
When, it comes to dancing, I turn into a ninja and disappear in background. Only if I am with someone who's company I enjoy, only then can will I be enticed to dance. There are those, however, are really searching for their soulmate on occasions like this and when they come up empty they just try to blend in with the rest of the dancers hoping to either cut in or find a partner. Some get lucky and some don't. Well, there's always the next party.
Still, there are those who keep on trying. Some may it's pathetic, but atleast they don't give up. If at first you don't succeed, try and try again. Eventually if you keep at it, you will succeed and dancing alone is nowadays acceptable. It's okay to dance by yourself so long as you don't "play" with yourself.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Lately, I've been watching the series "Cheaters" religiously and is fast becoming one of my guilty pleasures. I guess because unlike other reality shows, this exposes cheating for what it is and those who cheat regret their actions. Still, sometimes there's that the cheaters find in their companions that they can't find with their spouses. The song "Run To You" by Bryan Adams makes me wonder what it is that makes them do what they do.
Based on what some some suspects confess on the show, they get something from that other person that they can't get from their partners. For others, they feel there that they get neglected or fire simply, died out. Whatever the reason, when the urge gets to them, run to their "others". Even when the love that they get from their spouses is true, it's different from what they get when their with someone else. Whether it's love or not, they keep coming back for more.
Still, the bottomline is that this is wrong. I'm no expert but there is such a thing as talking about it and for that to happen, let alone be successful, both sides have make the effort. I'm no expert but there must be something missing or something wrong which led to this development. Still, it's no excuse for cheating and hurting your significant other. They maybe dull or have gained some weight over the years but they have always been there through good times and bad. Two wrongs don't make a right which is why cheating is still wrong. You have problem, run to them not to someone else because one you might have no one to run to.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
, what big bust this year turned out to be. What got off to a good start suddenly made turn for the worse. I thought things were resolved and bonds would be renewed, but alas, something happened that destroyed that momentum. After going through one bad experience after another, the only solace that I find is when the day is over and the night. When I hear the song "Stay The Night" by Benjamin Orr, I feel that it is only during the night were I can find sanctuary from all this crap.
Everytime I wake up, I pray that nothing bad will happen. That's the reason why everytime the phone rings and I get a house call at work, I really get edgy. I sometimes fear that it is bad news again and when it is, it really throws me off for the rest of the day. Only when everybody goes to sleep that I finally feel at ease for the day has ended and so is tension that it has brought. Sometimes I stay up just a little longer to compose myself, reflect on what happened or just to get the bad vibes out of my system.
Just few minutes or an hour to enjoy the cool quiet air of the evening after enduring a bad day is enough for me. They say when you're grown up, things start getting complicated and this time around it sure has. So when all is said and done, I look up to the sky and take time out to appreciate the night's cool air as it soothes my soul. I've seen better days and maybe they'll come around again. Till then, I'll just sanctuary in the cool night air.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Right now the film "2012" is showing in theaters and is making a big hit among local viewers. It's another one of those end-of-the-world flicks depicting the destruction of the world. When I was a kid, I admit I use to be afraid when my religion teachers would talk about it, especially when they about fire and brimstone in Hell. These days, however, with the way things are, the end doesn't sound so bad after all. The upbeatness of the song "It's The End Of The World As We Know It" by R.E.M. embodies my thoughts when the time comes.
You know I've seen all kinds of the game films and some of them, even features endings where mankind is able to avoid destruction. I wonder if the producers, directors and crew ever thought that if we did cheat the end, would the world be a better place? They don't call it the end for nothing. When it happens, it'll happen and despite all that trying figure out the scriptures or scientific analysis of the environment, there's nothing anyone can do to stop it. Just like Agent Scully said in the X-Files that "When God puts on a show, not even the devil can make it rain".
So what am I going to do when that happens? I guess I'll take confession and pray for everyone around me. When the flaming rock comes, I'll probably take a seat as I drink a glass from my favorite whiskey and smoke a cigar. I may even make a toast as I embrace the inevitable. That way even if the world ends, I still feel fine.
Monday, November 23, 2009
I know it's getting monotonous but I can't but feel down about how things are turning out. The worst part about it is something that I value is going to the dogs. I'm not one to talk about it but it's so bad that I can feel in the air everyday and every night. I never thought that it would happen to us but it did. Earth, Wind And Fire's song "After The Love Is Gone" always reminds me of this.
These past few months, Ive been blogging about the "bond" which the one thing that sets us apart from the rest. I'm not saying that we were perfect but nevertheless we were tight and always acted as one. Everybody saw that in us and up until now, I thought that would never be broken. Alas, outsiders have corrupted the bond causing to break and now it's every man for himself. People turning on others was never heard of before, but now it's becoming a sad reality around here.
They would probably say that I have no right to mention this because right now I'm a mess. Nevertheless, that didn't mean that I can't sit by and take this crap that's ruining everything. Unfortunately, for this to be resolve, that bond has to be repaired and to do that, we need to find that connection again which these outsiders had destroyed for their selfish goals. They time heals all wounds, well this saying is going to be put to the test. At present, there are a lot of people on my ##$$@ list because of what they have done to this which take a long time to heal because the love is gone.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
For those who read some of my past entries, l frequently mentioned a lot about not wanting to go back to my old school or not wanting to attend reunions of my batchmates. The reason for this was because of my always going against the flow, I found it hard to connect with a lot of them. Despite that lack of having something in common, there were some people who I found to have the same interest as me. making my stay there more bearable. One such person that I met was really cool for a foreigner and introduced to European Metal. One band that he listened to that I was the Scorpions and the song that I liked best was "Rock You Like A Hurricane".
I will call this guy "A" and though he was no Dr. Wu, he was still pretty cool. My first impression of him was that he was one of those "in crowd" kids who probably join the populars rather hang out with the ordinary smoes. That all changed when I was waiting for my ride home and he was packing up to do the same. We started talking and I found out that he too like metal music and gave me a tape of the band which contained this song. I thoroughly enjoyed the tape and was glad to meet another person who wasn't like the rest.
Though it's been a while, I still think highly of him from time to time. It's nice to know that there are people out there who have the same interest as you, making you feel that you are not alone. Though the present hasn't good to me, when I think about all these guys and the times I shared with them, it soothes my soul like a shot of whiskey. Like alot of good people that I've met over the years, I wish him well. To this day, I still bang my head when this song is played and I owe all to him.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Looking back, we were lucky when we were young because once the weekend came in, we practically free to go where we wanted to go. We'd rock from dusk till dawn and no matter how stewed we were we managed to get back in one piece. These days if one had the chance to go out, it would be hard to shake a lot of things out of one's head even as the party started to roar on its own speed and to the demands and situations at home, you had to get back as early as you can. When I get sense or urgency to head on back while I'm in a party, the song "Better Be Home Soon" by Crowded House.
I know this song is more about a suspicious spouse who thinks his mate is cheating on him. For me, this song reminds me of the edgy feeling I get when I go out these because of the weight that I carry around me. Every time I get chance to go out, I can't help but feel that something might go wrong. Just when things are starting to get interesting, something comes out of the blues and spoils everything. What could have been one of those rare opportunities to unwind would only make me even more tense. It's enough to drive a guy crazy.
It's been a while since I had a good time with good people to share it with. With the "bond" starting to crumble and dark mood that I feel every time I go home, My solace is when the night has come and I close my eyes. I can say that Jack is becoming a dull boy. Well, at least I had my time in the sun and that is enough. When 24K songs begin to play, they all come alive again which brightens up the day for this dreary soul.