Saturday, July 31, 2010
Ah, life is so full of stress lately. I lost my purse full of change and right now I think I left my keys at the office which really bummed me out. Once again, my thoughts are drifting back to happier times when the weekend rolled in and you woke up at 9 or 10 in the morning. I'd take a stroll for a while and cap it off some Dairy Queen Ice Cream and a burger or whatever food tickled my palette. A little chill-out time does wonders for the soul which I sure miss. Missing that ideal quality time one would spend over the weekend reminds me of the song "Saturday In The Park" by Chicago.
This is one of those really cool "feel good" songs that is must have for busting stress. Whenever I remember of hear this song, I'm off to enjoy the weekend. After a good lunch, you watch the world go by and see people having fun and feel that rubbing off you. Pretty soon that feeling gets spread around and feeling good's good enough. When I've had my fill of the sites and the sounds, I head on home and ready to face the grind.
Despite all the stress that I feel, I know that these things will come to pass. Though it's been since I spent my weekends in this fashion, maybe one day I'll be able to do so again. Just a little time, patience and perseverance to get things in order which is my top priority right now. When that gets settled, then the good times are going to roll once more. I look forward to that day when everyday is like the Fourth of July or any kind of holiday for that matter.
Friday, July 30, 2010
I remember a few years ago, my friends came over treated me to a beer which was one of the rare occasions where we would be together. As we drank, like everyone else, we always spill out our thoughts on why life is so hard. When my turn came, one of my friends told me that one of the reasons why you're in that state is because you're too nice. To this day, what he said still the inner recesses of mind when I have some time to myself. One song that brings that thought to my head is "I'm Easy" by Keith Carradine.
In house where tempers tend to light up and explode when things go wrong, I learned early in life not to add more fuel to the fire. Because of that, I eventually would up to the "nice guy" who would not demand and always give in. The trouble was that it was getting to the point where I was already giving up things that would fulfilled me or more importantly, made me happy. As much as it is hard for me to admit, that's one of the reasons why I am in the position that I find myself at present. Worst part about it all is that I almost lost myself in the process.
I know it's a little too late but at present, I'm trying to take measures to rectify that. Things like standing my ground on what I really want and going the extra mile to make my dreams come true. I know it's kinda late but better late than never. It's cool to give from time to time but it shouldn't be to the point where you give away your happiness and you find yourself lost. There's a point where being "nice' will do you more harm than good. As the Dauphin said in Henry V: "Self love my liege is not so great a sin as self-neglect".
Thursday, July 29, 2010
I know that I've been feeling down lately because things aren't going the way I want them to. Still, the world doesn't wait for anybody and things won't unless you make an effort to change them. I've had my time to bleed out whatever blues was inside me. It's time to get back in the saddle and go back to the grind. I guess I owe Mick Jagger's song "Let's Work" for that.
No matter how positive we try to view life, there are times when things happen that causes your spirits to sinks. There also come a time where you have to shake it off. I guess it's time to say "I don't wanna stay like like" and do something about. I focus on what I want to be and how to get there. Even if you get some support, in the end, it's all up to you if you want to succeed or not.
The fact that people in this video are always on the go, tells you that you got to move to make things happen. I guess we all feel blue sometimes, but we should always get back on feet and concentrate on doing something will do us some good. This a good motivational song for those who are in a rut. I recommend it 100%.
Mick Jagger - Let's Work
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Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Closet Song About Feeling Alone And Blue But Doing One's Best To Be Strong: Out Here On My Own By Irene Cara
For some reason, my anxieties are getting the better of me. Especially now that I'm getting older but still haven't gotten it together and now that I have more things to deal with. Whenever the thought bears down on me, it really is hard to just ignore it, especially now that I feel that time has past me by. Despite all that, I try my best to meet whatever challenges that gets thrown my way cause I still believe this storm will past. Feeling alone but trying to keep it together reminds me of the song "Out Here On My Own" by Irene Cara.
I guess you can say that this soundtrack from the movie "Fame" is a closet guilty pleasure when things aren't going well for me. I guess the fact that I'm getting older amidst all that has happened has me feeling dejected and unfulfilled leading to another black mood. I feel like everything is up in the air and if nothing good is going to happen, everything will just go down the drain. I guess being a loner is starting to make me realize just how thick the walls I've built for myself which has me entombed. This, plus all this alienation and uncertainties really get me feeling like I'm on the verge of falling into the abyss.
Still, I vowed that I'd be strong no matter what gets thrown in my way. In the midst of my quiet desperation, I think of all the people who helped and taught me about not giving up and looking at the bright side. Taking their lessons to heart, I do my best to be strong in the middle of this awful time. I owe them and myself that because if I don't, all that I have learned from them will be for nothing. It's going to be a rough time, I but will prevail even if I'm on my own.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
One of the most heated debates that is happening in the U.S. today is the new illegal immigration law in Arizona where people can stopped and asked for their papers and if they don't have any, they'll be deported. Those on the right believe that its the only way to stop criminals from entering their territory who are now wrecking havoc in Arizona as well as other border states. Opponents say that the law is unjust because it leads to racial profiling as well as violates basic human rights. I remember how people who slipped in the America illegally did so because they either fled persecution or wanted a better life and because of that, there were times when they can make fun of that situation. One song that did was "Born In East L.A." by Cheech And Chong.
The song was taken from Bruce Spring's "Born In The U.S.A." and was the soundtrack from the film of the same name. It tells how a legitimate american citizen got deported to Mexico and his many attempts to get back. It may not have been as funny as their previous films but it had its moments. It also featured some extras who later went on to have careers of their own. Still, it showed that for a lot of people, America was the land of opportunity which is why people who want a better life will go to any lengths just to go there.
Times have changed and because of the drug wars as well as 9/11, people are now making drastic steps to close the border. For me, this is a very difficult situation for everyone involved. Apart from the growing crime rate, it also encourages businesses who don't follow proper labor laws to employ illegals and pay them low wages. I do so hope that this gets resolved with both parties agreeing to a solution that they both like because there some there who really want a better life and these criminals are ruining their chance to get it. Still this video and song was funny back then and it still is now.
Monday, July 26, 2010
It's funny how everything old is new again because alot of the style and sounds of my generation are now the "in" thing. I sometimes wonder if the current generation has lost some of its own creativity. One thing for sure, the revival of the 80's style has got me really sentimental lately. For some reason, memories of the past and the people I've met and miss have been growing more intense. A lot of times, I wonder where they are and how they are doing. With that in mind, the song "I'm Thinking Of You" by Safire comes into mind.
I guess this stems from the fact that I didn't find any closure when I graduated from both high school and college. There were things that I wasn't able to do and people who just slipped away. By the time I knew it, it was time to move on. As a result, you can say that's one reason why I keep thing of the past because of the could'ves and would'ves. I guess if I had the chance to change some of the things that happened there, I would've.
I know the past is in the past and it's time to concentrate on the future. Still, that sense of closure still eludes me. I need to find that closure which I think can really help me move on. If I don't, I feel my life will be a chain of unresolved periods. I guess that's why I think a lot about them and wherever they are, I hope they're doing well.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
They say that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. If that was true, I feel so dull, I can't even cut through air. Like Dexter Morgan said: "My life's all Jeckle and no Hyde." What makes it worse is the fact that lately, I've been getting myself into situations where I really hate taking part in. Right now, I miss the old days where I go to the gym and lift a few weights then head to the dojo and use that muscle to throw or strike somebody. Right now I need a physical outlet to get all this negative energy out. The need to go sparring reminds me of the song "Shoot To Thrill" by AC/DC.
I guess this is the reason why the movie Fight Club was one of my favorites because these guys needed an outlet for their pent-up frustrations. Right now, I miss the sparring and randori of martialarts combat. During these sessions, you get paired and fight the heck out of each other until the masters gives the signal to stop. Sure I may be bruised and bloodied after the session but man, I feel good afterwards because all that repressed adrenaline has was gone and I got a pretty good workout in the process.
I don't get me wrong because I don't like hurting people but for me, martialarts sparring gives me an outlet for getting rid of bad vibes that other activities do not. This is the closest to getting into war without the bloodshed (though I did get a black eye once as well as sore but not broken ribs). Hopefully, when things get in order, I'll be able to go back to training again. Cause getting into combat for me is the ultimate thrill like a sword being unsheathed from its scabbard ready for battle.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
We go through all sorts of struggles in life. When we are confronted by it, we have no choice but to face it and fight it. Sometimes we win and sometimes we loose. There times, however, when there was so much at stake and when it falls apart, it really hurts big time. It makes me wonder why things go wrong when you need it the most. At times when that happens, I listen to the song "Just Can't Win 'Em All" by Stevie Woods.
At first, I thought it was Boz Scaggs who sang this song. Anyway, a lot of us always to have things our way. There are times, however, when things don't turn out as you hope it would. Even during times, things are going your way, crap happens and ruins a perfectly good winning streak. The worst part about it is that no matter how hard you try or prepare for the worse is that when it all goes wrong, there's just no stopping till the damage is done.
Well, there's no use in crying over spilled milk. The best thing that you can do is chalk up as part of experience. Learn from it so that it won't happen again. More importantly, appreciate what you've already gained before that too disappears. You what they say, "win some, loose some."
Friday, July 23, 2010
Remember during my college dfays when I was watching a remake of "D.O.A." starring Dennis Quaid where his character confronted Daniel Stern's character who was responsible for poisoning him. When he found out that he did it to steal his student's novel to be famous, he told him it was useless because it was not his passion. He went further to say that he'll never know how it will feel because people don't do it for money or fame but for the work. That scene and dialogue really left a deep impression on me because it taught me that what you do is meaningless unless you put your heart and soul to it. Remembering that lesson reminds me of the song "Heart And Soul" by T'Pau.
Passion for work is what sets everything into motion. True, knowledge and skills are vital to making it, but without the will to do it, nothing gets started. Sometimes it can even offset skill and knowledge when the odds are against you. If it's what you really, really want, then nothing can stand in your way. You just go in and do it without worrying about the odds.
I guess that's why I put a little more effort in my work as well as my blog posts. I want to share what I have made and I want others to appreciate what I am trying to express with each posts. Most of all, I love what I do and that's why I enjoy it. True, I want to generate more income in this field, but without the motivation, it means nothing. That's why I put my heart and soul into this blog because without, it's nothing.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Thanks to additional information that I have read on the net, things are starting to move on what I am working on. Trouble is that it's not moving faster than I had hoped. I know that I shouldn't rush things but when I think about what's at stake here, it really makes me anxious. I feel that I'm in an uphill battle that just keeps getting steeper. When I think of how things are getting harder, the song "Running Up That Hill" by Kate Bush comes to mind.
After working on this thing for three years, I was finally able to get things moving. What worries me is trying to get more results as well as keeping the momentum when I reap the fruits of my labor. As frustrated and anxious as I am, I still want to tread carefully to make sure that things don't fall apart. At the very least, things are still moving. I just need to implement the necessary steps to make sure that this momentum grows and will continue to grow. This isn't just for me but for the people around me.
Right now I am continuing my research enhance the growth of my project. I try to make sure what approaches are best suitable for what I am doing. I also avoid approaches that might jeopardize what I have worked on because one slip and the ship sinks. If this succeeds, then I work on similar projects which could help me and the people around me. I know it's an uphill struggle, but worth it if the gains are good. For that, I am willing to run up that hill no matter how jagged or steep cause I really want to succeed and share the success with people around me.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Last week, Typhoon "Basyang" passed through the country and left a lot of damage as well as casualties in the country.I wasn't able to sleep as I heard wood and metal being flung from the air due to the typhoon's strong winds. Yet after its wake, it was good to see the sun shine again. For me, it's a reminder that when the bad times passes, better times lay ahead. Remembering that lesson reminds me of the song "Sunny Skies" by James Taylor.
There's nothing more natural to make a person feel good than waking up to nice sunny day. Unfortunately when the typhoon struck, a lot of houses got ripped apart and around 20 people were killed when it hit us. Once again we have to deal with the property and human damage left in its wake. Still, if people pull together, we will get over this and find something better. We've done it before and we'll do it again.
I guess that's the reason why I like sunny days. Even with the heat, for some reason it makes you feel good inside. Typhoons and storms are a big downer on everybody. I know I'm like a kid writing this but seeing sunny skies gives me the feeling of good days ahead. This gets an even deeper meaning when the storm passes.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Lately, whatever elation that I have felt has started to dissipate and I can feel that sense of desperation creeping back into me. I guess its because even though things are starting to pick up, it still not at the pace that I expected. Too many changes are happening and though I try roll and make adjustments for them, I'm having a hard time doing so. Still, a part of me, remembers that is never easy and even things don't go as planned, the world won't come to an end. Remembering that lesson made me want to listen the Beatles' song "Obladi Oblada".
I guess it's because of the upbeat and carefree feeling that I get when I hear this song that I decided to use it to soothe my worries. I've been a nervous wreck for the past few years and the sad changes brought upon during this really kept me on edge. Still, thanks to this song I am reminded that if I stop or doubt for even just a moment, things will fall apart. If you life to go on, then you have to go on in any way that you can. Just march to the beat of the piano and hold your chin up as you face up to the challenge.
I really appreciate that photo my new friend Jennie posted on her blog of a bird holding on to a small stick. It reminds me that you have to hold on to life because life is good and you can it so. I worked so hard and come so far to let things slide. I guess I need to lighten up and concentrate a little more. One thing's for sure and that life will go on if you go on with it.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Lately, I'm still getting that nagging question "Why are you still single at your age?" I wish they'd read some of my earlier entries to get the answers. Apart from personal and family issues, getting into a relationship sure is a pretty tough deal. You really have to be ready to give it your all when you're in it. Otherwise, you're just wasting your time. One of the important things that you have to prepare for is pleasing that special someone. When it comes to pleasing people, reminds me of the song "If That's What It Takes" by Micheal MacDonald.
Trying to find what makes that special someone tick is probably the first thing you have to do. How do it is up to you but what's important is that you know what it is. After that, are you committed to doing what it takes, especially if it is a pretty tall order. If you're willing to go for it, then do so. If not, at least you know you're limits.
No matter how smitten you are, there are times when you have to be realistic. Maybe you can please that person but it will do no good if you loose yourself and everything you hold dear in the process. When that happens then it's not worth it. There are other choices out there if you look harder. At least they won't demand too much from you when you try to please them.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
I'm really a live and let live kind of guy. I respect the culture and beliefs of others even if they don't agree with me or I don't agree with them. I do what I can to get along with others even if they're the worst of the lot because we do what we have to do to get by. There are times however, when one gets to accommodating to the point that they want to throw away the institutions that you believe in and replace it with theirs and make you accept it. I draw the line there because I'm proud of who I am and what I believe and when somebody tries to force something I don't like, well get ready for one heck of a ruckus. When it comes to standing up and defending your beliefs, the song "Defenders Of The Faith" by Judas Priest.
There's a lot of things happening around us these days and a lot of it is not good. A lot of groups both from the left and the right are forcing a lot of things down our throats and its all crap. They make you feel guilty about who you are and emotionally blackmail you to giving in their wishes and pretty soon you're at their mercy as everything you hold dear gets torn down. Well, I say "@#$#@@" to that. I am proud of who am and though I and the institutions that I believe are not perfect and made mistakes, we' re not about to roll over and give in to this garbage.
I maybe an old dog who can't learn new tricks, but at least I know my old tricks well. Going back on the topic, I think there's a difference between accommodating new beliefs and institutions and junking one for the other. I'm not inciting a riot here but I stand by the principles that I grew up on and have served me through the years. I am proud of it and am will to defend it anytime. When it comes to it, I am a defender of my faith and my people and that's the bottom line.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Life is has always been hard but these days, it's getting harder everyday. It's getting so much so that this is where you separate the strong from the weak. Some people just break under the pressure while others are still out there trying to do what they can. Sometimes the pressure gets so much if you want to survive, you have to take the pain and keep going. Taking the pain, reminds me of the song "I Haven't Got Time For The Pain" by Carly Simon.
When I think of the situation that I find myself in, I really have to steel myself for the pressures that me and my family have to deal with. As I've said before I thank comfort in what my brother reminded me that I am my father's son. Plus, I want to be part of the solution and not the problem which is why I keep my nose out of trouble which is the last thing that I heed. Most of all, the thing that I am working is starting to yield results which is good because I need to do more to deal with the situation since I am the one close to home. I just hope that once it yields results I sustain it and build it further.
I don't want to curl up and hide when the going gets tough. I want to fight it and win. It's a tough battle but I know if we're all in it together, there's nothing we can't overcome no matter how painful. We're still in the thick but I hope that we make through the storm. I know it's tough but we don't have time for the pain.
Friday, July 16, 2010
I remember during my high school days when cartoons lost its edge. All of a sudden, when you watch a cartoon with your favorite hero, you'll be lucky when all he does is dodge his opponents attacks because that's all the action you'll be seeing. It wasn't until the late 80's when the first "Transformers" and "G.I. Joe" cartoons came out that real punching action came back, but it was still very tame. When I saw the episode "Ballad Of Fallen Angels" from Cowboy Bebop, it really blew me away. The song that was played during that sequence was called "Rain" from the Cowboy Bebop Soundtrack.
There's a male and female version of this song. If I'm right, the female version was sung by Mai Yamane and another was by Yoko Kanno. Anyway, this was played when Spike was on his way to confront Vicious and before the action began, they had a short talk. When the song ended, the bullets and granades started flying as the body count started piling. The fight ended with both Spike and Vicious badly wounded and they would again face off in the final episode. That scene goes up there with any good shooting scene in live action movies.
Some family would find this scene too excessive and I don't blame them. Still, I raise on watching really gritty action sequences; the real "in your face' thing. Still, even when I was young I had the sense to know that it's just a show and should not be emulated. When you're siblings are made up of all guys, flicks like this come naturally. I consider this the best cartoon/anime gunfight that I have seen on tv.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Even though, I'm a loner by nature, I never take my friends for granted. A lot of times, they've been there when I was down and I had no one to turn to. Like a miracle, they come out of the blue and help me out when things become unbearable. The fact that they became my friends is great as it is. How I value my friends can be summed in the song "Thanked You For Being A Friend" by Andrew Gold.
Whether others look at them as boring, surly or weird, the fact is they were always there for me and for that I'll always be there for them. They're the ones who remind us that we're not so bad and we are also special in our own way has kept me going this far in life. They are also there to stop me from doing something rash and really tell me what it is I need to change about myself. It may not be flattering but they do it out of concern which I appreciate.
That's the reason why I try to be there when they need me because they were there for me. They did so with no questions asks and people like that are a rare breed. Even if I don't see them anymore, they still remain alive inside my heart. With what we've been through over the years, I hope one day we see each other again. For all those who I consider a friend, saying "Thank you" is the least that I can do because I'm happy you became my friend.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
I guess Micheal Jackson fans will be angry with me because I forgot about his death anniversary last month. For, that I apologize because of the pressures that me and my family had to deal with. If asks about the late King of Pop, I think he was at his best in the early 80'S. To be exact,. it was during his pre-"Thriller" days, Proof of this can be found in the song and video "Rock With You".
What I like about the song and the video is that it shows him at his best. He looked like he really made a smooth transition from the 70's to the 80's and it shows. Like I mentioned in my past blog posts, he really looked like he was enjoying himself and getting into groove of the song which made it much more enjoyable. Best of the music was well balance, meaning it was good enough to party with but not loud enough to cause a riot. Perfect for easy-going enjoyment.
No doubt he hit his best with the album "Thriller" which I think was the biggest album of the 80's. On a down note, I think it was tough act to follow because after that all of his eccentricities become food for the media. Later on, the sex allegation started to cast a long shadow on his showbiz career. All of it, culminated to his untimely death in June last year. For me, I would like to remember him in this song because it shows him on the rise and most of all, it shows him at his best without any exaggerations.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
For those of you who read my past entries, one of my favorite films during my high school days was "Highlander" that tells about the story of immortals who must fight against each other until only one remains. What I find cool about this movie is the idea of about living forever and learning every form of armed and unarmed combat to those skills against your enemy to survive. The villain in the movie named Krugen play by Clancy Brown was one of my favorite villains of all time. He was so cool that he even had his own song in the movie. The song was called "Gimme The Prize" by Queen.
Krugen was clearly the baddest immortal in the movie, yet he still respected some of the rules of engagement regarding fights with immortals. Still, it doesn't stop him from being brutal and going on a killing spree. The funny part about him is the dark humor he puts in each scene where he is either killing immortals or terrorizing bystanders. In the end, he was no match for Connor who succeeded in taking his head and his power. I don't care what the critics say, the first film is still my favorite.
I hope that Reel Tracks play this song soon. It has already played "Who Wants To Live Forever". I guess it was due to the negative reviews that his character didn't get the recognition that he deserves because he could give the Terminator a run for his money. You won't find anyone more skillful and terrifying at the same time. He'll up there as one of my favorite villains.
Monday, July 12, 2010
The first film of Adam Sandler that really got my attention was "Happy Gilmore" where he was aspiring hockey player who turned into a pro-golfer. One of the funniest scenes in that movie was when his girlfriend broke up with him and he tried to woo her back through the intercom. To do so, he was muttering a love song that he started to sing louder and louder. That song was Exile's "I Wanna Kiss You All Over".
Turns out that someone else's answered his wooing at the end of the scene. Anyway, one thing I like about his films is that aside from the humor, he always plays songs from the 70's and 80's. Growing up during those times, I relate with that since hearing them brings back memories of the good times that I back then. As for the song's message, I leave it to the readers imagination. One thing I did know was that I lot of my friends had this song in their cassettes when they went on a date in hopes of scouring on that night.
Whether for a date or just for listening to good music, this song sure goes up there with the rest of the 24K hits. I agree with the readers at Youtube when they say that they dig the chorus of this song. You don't hear this quality of songs anymore. A true hit that deserves to be on 24K.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Whether it's conquerors of antiquity or even the local ganglord, once some attains a reputation for being tough, people know when to make a path. While he has the time, he'll make the most of it by consolidating his hold on people and his territory. Once he accomplishes that, he thinks he's untouchable and no one would dare contest his authority. Unfortunately, that mode of thinking will eventually set him up for a fall and when that happens, he'll fall real hard. That's the lesson that I learned from the song "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown" by Jim Croce.
This was the first of Jim Croce's songs that I grew to appreciate. It tells the story of a neighborhood toughie who was feared by everyone. He had it all: Physical build. fancy clothes and guns, crime money until he started flirting with a wife of jealous man who stood up to him. After brutal fight, Leroy was all busted up and his air of invisibility as well as his was shattered. How the mighty had fallen.
What lesson did I learn from this song? You may the top dog commanding the fear and respect of your subjects but it won't last long. One day, someone will come along who'll be stronger and tougher than you. When that day comes, your ruling days are over. It's the cycle of life because they'll always be someone tougher than you when the day comes.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
They say that when a person has a strong sense of persuasion, he or she can charm a leopard to change its spots. A lot of times, that kind of ability is a must-have, especially now that people are very reluctant due to the hard times that we face. Still, with a little persistence and some well-placed words, some people can pull it off, no matter how stubborn the other guy feels. Anyone who can do that sure can go places. Having that kind of ability reminds me of the song "Come On Aileen" by Dexy' Midnight Runners.
Apart from a good driving song, this reminds of trying to get someone to join the bandwagon. Whoever Aileen is, she sure is a hard person to convince. Still from the way this song plays, slowly but surely she gives in and says "Yes". You can tell by the way the song goes on a high note till the end. In the end, everybody's happy.
Wouldn't it be great if we are able to convince people to join in something good? The more the merrier and this is especially true when you want to expand your circle of friends. With tough times like today, that kind of talent is a gift. Still, they say that with just the right words you can move mountains. I guess it's just a matter of finding out what makes you tick.
Friday, July 9, 2010
I remember when the age of Disco suddenly burst out during the 70's. This was made even more popular by the movie "Saturday Night Fever". I remember when people jam into clubs just to get a chance at the dance floor and strut their stuff. Add the shiny globes and glaring lights and you got yourself a party. It was a really carefree time and those who got into it were really into it.
When it comes to the age of Disco, the song "Disco Inferno" by The Tramps comes to mind.
That age was not for the shy at heart because the only way you're going to fit in is by going to the dance floor and DANCE!!! What I hated at that time was when my brothers practiced their moves on me. What I hate was the fact that they not only twisted and twirled me, they also tossed me up in the air like pizza dough. Anything to impress the girls at the party, they say. Still, the music was natural and you really get to your partner close, hence the attraction to this fad.
Nowadays there's still dancing, but is all techno now. People just jump up and down and there's no real contact. Though I'm not into dancing, I 'd rather hold my partner close than act like I'm being possessed by an evil spirit. For those who were into it, they'd probably say it was crazy time but good times nevertheless which is why its music still urges people to dance today.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
It sure stinks when things are just starting to work out well only to have something happen and then things start falling apart. As I have blogged in recent entries, right now we're still adjusting to a lot of things after my father passed away and as we are doing what we can to cope, I can't help but feel disappointed because a lot of things that I wanted to be and do in life never came about. I prayed for the safety of my family and to have this as the answer sure sent me crashing. Despite all the difficulty that we're having, kind people do reassure me that things will get better in due time. Hearing that reminds me of the song "Panahon" by Juan Dela Cruz.
I use to listen to this song during those down periods in my life when I was down in the dumps. When listening to it, I also remember Henry Bergson's "Shipwreck Theory" that these things will pass and you just need to be strong. Right now with all the bad things happening, I try my best to hold my ground against and keep my head on my shoulders as I face the weight of my responsibilities. It doesn't help when the could'ves and would'ves from the past enter my thoughts which tempts me to acknowledge my regrets. All I know is that I didn't live this long to give up and so I soldier on.
What's in the past is past and so I must concentrate on the present to ensure that future will be good. I take comfort when I remember my brother telling me that I am my father's son because it gives me strength to carry on. Apart from that, I am putting to play things I can do to help as well as using any and all possible resources that are within my reach. I just hope things get better soon. In the meantime, I'll figure out what else I need to do to achieve it.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
You can tell something's amiss when people either stop coming over or when there's an icy cold silence filling the air. You don't notice it at first but when you, it really gets you worried when you realize that something's not right around here. Trouble is when you try to find out what's going on, it does more harm than good. Though you're intentions are good, the result could be that you opened up a Pandora's Box and the crap starts flying all over the place. Situations like that remind of No Doubt's song "Don't Speak".
If I remember right, this song is about a time the band's life when they had grudges that they can't express and this song helped resolve it. I wish it was that easy because from where I come from, when that happens it affects everybody. The more you try to talk about it, the more they shut down. If the issue is forced, it might come to blows and I don't want that to happen. Still, it really stinks because it's a no win situation.
As always, you have to wait till the steam blows over. It's like nature, no matter how you try to prepare for it, in the end you have to wait till it runs its course. Still, I hope that whatever is happening gets resolved real quick. We still have a lot to deal with and this we don't need. Right now, we need to stick together if we want to make it through these difficult times.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
You know I hate it when things don't go as you'd hope and what's worse is that you find yourself going back to the drawing boards. After all that hard work, it stinks especially when it took a lot of time and effort. Still, if you want to do it, then you going to have to do it all over again. On a good note, you get to find out where you went wrong and of course understand the process better. Tedious process of doing it all over again and find out what needs to be done reminds me of the song " Break It Down Again" by Tears For Fears.
As with any process, this also applies to people's lives as well. A lot of us have high hopes for how we want our lives to be. A lot of times, things don't turn out like we plan and worse still, we wind up either living lives we hate or simply want to end it all. When it comes to that point, we really need to take a pause and look around us to figure out just what went wrong and to that you really have to be honest about what really happened. When you figure out that part, the next step is figuring out what is it that you want to achieve and how to go about it. Finally, you need to have the perseverance and conviction to implement those things that you need cause if you're scared, nothing will change and you'll wind up crying in your bed every night.
They that if there's time, there's hope for change. I really want to believe in that because I was taught that you can change your life if you really want to. We've all seen dreams fall apart or lives waste away and we don't that to happen to us. I don't what plans people have for themselves but I do know we want to see them come true. Even if it means going back to square one by breaking things down again, it'll be worth if it means a better life.
Monday, July 5, 2010
When I was a young, I was a very introverted person and I mentioned this a lot in my previous posts. Being raised in an isolated area didn't give us much opportunity to socialize with other people, hence despite my friendly demeanor, I tend to be by myself most of the times. Nowadays, I'm beginning to realize just how much I have been so isolated from others and am now paying the price. That realization reminds me of the song "Living In A Box" by Living In A Box.
Though I had no trouble making friends and getting along with other people, there was always that thing inside me which always made me want to retreat to a place where I was comfortable and be with others who were exactly like me. Broken dreams and being made to do things that I don't want to do and the absence of my buds have really built some kind of barrier inside of me that really separates me from everyone else. As a result, lately, I feel that I'm always on the outside. I guess I have nobody but myself to blame for that. It scares that I realize how much I have boxed myself in and can't relate with anything or anyone anymore.
As I've said earlier, the thing that I've been working on hasn't yielded any results which requires visitors who will do the c word. To do that, I really have to get out of my safety zone or "box" put a lot more effort into it. It's been very difficult for me but there's a lot at stake right now. I just hope that things will turn around soon. If I am going to get this right, I have to get out of the "box" and really do it to the fullest.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
It Really Is Frustrating When People Don't Know What You're Going Through: You Don't Know By Scarlett And Black
I still feel pretty blue right now and to top it off, this cellphone bill has really turned my morning upside down. You can say that's one way of starting your morning by letting past failures boil inside you and people often wondering why you feel the way you do. Sometimes my frustrations can be clearly seen in my face when I think about the things that could have been and the worst part is people don't understand how it means to you. The frustration that one feels when people don't know what they're going through reminds me of the song "You Don't Know" by Scarlett And Black.
As I have said before, when my family started ridiculing my choices in life, it really hurt me and it hurts even more that they don't realize how much it means to me or how much it affected my self-esteem. The fact that I'm getting older and still get the same treatment is starting to get to me. This is one of the reasons why I seldom say what I think or feel and I avoid discussions in the past. One ridicule is enough for me. Sometimes I wonder if these people ever realize the consequences of every critique or comment that make can really hurt others.
To this day, there are times when I still have difficulty trying to express what I really feel. The memories of that ridicule are still vivid in my mind. Still, if I'm going to survive in this world, let alone be happy, I need to express what I feel, especially when things are not good. It's the only way for people to really understand me and know why I act the way I do. If not, people will forever ridicule me which will just add more misery to my life.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
I remember when I recently graduated from college, I wanted to work for the government. I applied to the National Security Council and got assigned to the Conference Management Office. At first, I was excited because I wanted to be part of the big change since the ouster of Marcos and the rise of Cory Administration. That enthusiasm soon ran out with the year's end. When I remember the disappointment that I had there, the song "Things Have Changed" by Bob Dylan comes to mind.
My excitement wore out because apart from working overtime for no reason, there some heads who really gave me a tough time. Apart from that, the job that I was doing was not really what I wanted to do. As the days wore on, I felt my burn out getting worse and worse. Finally, a humiliating task was the last straw on the camel's back for me. After a long decision, I decided to quit and tendered my resignation.
Ironically, I am currently working in government again. Still, the people here and team dynamics are a whole lot better than that place. At least, I here I can do what I do best and not be relegating to some tasks that can be so demeaning. Still, I hope improve soon because I can sure use some extra income. Things really have changed a lot and now it's all about surviving in a very harsh world.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Through the years, my family has always been very important to me. Growing up in an isolated area, we had no one but ourselves to rely on. We always did things together as we grew up and even when one of go off on his own, he would always come back to the fold. Now that I'm getting older, keeping the family bonds strong is what I care about the most because we are a part of each other. Keeping that in mind, reminds me of the song "We Are Family" by Sister Sledge.
I was very shy when I was kid and disco wasn't my thing back then. Still, this song appealed to me because it dealt about family. The fact that it was sung by a group of all sisters appealed to me even more since we're all boys here as well (five to be exact). Despite all the bickering and the fights, we always stood by each other and that's what friends and outsiders always liked about us. The term "blood is thicker than water" now has a deeper meaning for me now because who else can you turn to or is there for you but your own flesh and blood. If they are in need, then you reciprocate in return cause that's what family members do to each other.
Time have been crazy as of late and there are still strange storms in the horizon. No matter what happens, so long as we are together, I know we can lick this thing. This doesn't mean that I am going to rely on my brothers all the time and I want to be there for them as they have been to me. Right now things that matter to me the most is their happiness and safety. No matter what, there's nothing like family
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Lately, I've been taking a look at myself in the mirror and I don't like what I'm seeing, let alone feeling. I'm beginning to feel the weight of my age and the urgency to do something about it. After seeing pass me buy, I feel a desperate need to make my I'm doing yield results or else its pack-up time. Right now I can sure use a lot of support to get from others out there who are doing the same thing that I'm doing and it would be fine if they give me a hand. When the desperation gets too much, I listen to the song "All I Need" by Jack Wagner.
As I've said before, a lot of choices and opportunities have already passed me by and the situation that I am currently in is adding more fuel to my desperation. As for what I am working on, it's been an uphill battle of trial and error, yielding very small results. If only I can find the right combination from all the articles and instructions that I've been researching, then maybe things will start to pick up. It would be a great help if some people lend me a hand by just dropping by and do a little b & c. This isn't just for me, but for the people around me which is why this means a lot for me.
If only I find the right way to achieve that goal, I could sleep better at nights. Right now, I am trying all the suggestions and advice that I stumble upon in the internet. If some people can get it right, then so can I which is why I am not giving up. I really need to brush on my social skills to attract more support for what I am working on. If it I can achieve that, then that's all I need to get everything else rolling.