For some reason, my anxieties are getting the better of me. Especially now that I'm getting older but still haven't gotten it together and now that I have more things to deal with. Whenever the thought bears down on me, it really is hard to just ignore it, especially now that I feel that time has past me by. Despite all that, I try my best to meet whatever challenges that gets thrown my way cause I still believe this storm will past. Feeling alone but trying to keep it together reminds me of the song "Out Here On My Own" by Irene Cara.
I guess you can say that this soundtrack from the movie "Fame" is a closet guilty pleasure when things aren't going well for me. I guess the fact that I'm getting older amidst all that has happened has me feeling dejected and unfulfilled leading to another black mood. I feel like everything is up in the air and if nothing good is going to happen, everything will just go down the drain. I guess being a loner is starting to make me realize just how thick the walls I've built for myself which has me entombed. This, plus all this alienation and uncertainties really get me feeling like I'm on the verge of falling into the abyss.
Still, I vowed that I'd be strong no matter what gets thrown in my way. In the midst of my quiet desperation, I think of all the people who helped and taught me about not giving up and looking at the bright side. Taking their lessons to heart, I do my best to be strong in the middle of this awful time. I owe them and myself that because if I don't, all that I have learned from them will be for nothing. It's going to be a rough time, I but will prevail even if I'm on my own.
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