I still feel pretty blue right now and to top it off, this cellphone bill has really turned my morning upside down. You can say that's one way of starting your morning by letting past failures boil inside you and people often wondering why you feel the way you do. Sometimes my frustrations can be clearly seen in my face when I think about the things that could have been and the worst part is people don't understand how it means to you. The frustration that one feels when people don't know what they're going through reminds me of the song "You Don't Know" by Scarlett And Black.
As I have said before, when my family started ridiculing my choices in life, it really hurt me and it hurts even more that they don't realize how much it means to me or how much it affected my self-esteem. The fact that I'm getting older and still get the same treatment is starting to get to me. This is one of the reasons why I seldom say what I think or feel and I avoid discussions in the past. One ridicule is enough for me. Sometimes I wonder if these people ever realize the consequences of every critique or comment that make can really hurt others.
To this day, there are times when I still have difficulty trying to express what I really feel. The memories of that ridicule are still vivid in my mind. Still, if I'm going to survive in this world, let alone be happy, I need to express what I feel, especially when things are not good. It's the only way for people to really understand me and know why I act the way I do. If not, people will forever ridicule me which will just add more misery to my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment