Though the frugality period is almost at an end, it still hasn't put my mind, let alone my soul at ease. Once again, I find myself looking at the mirror and worst part is I don't like what I see. Whenever I get like this, it reminds me of filling the dread question on a job application where they ask how do see yourself so and so years from now. It's not easy to admit that your shift goes only from neutral to second gear. When everybody's life is in order while I'm still bouncing up and down from wall to wall with no sense of security is really starting to creep me out, especially since I'm not young anymore. No song drives this thought to my head straight to home than "Middle Of The Road" by The Pretenders.
Whenever you're down with this thought, listening to this song in a bar after a few smokes(including fat ones)and a lot of drinks can really get you rowdy. For me, this song is like finding yourself at the crossroads and trying to decide what to do next. It also describes how hard it is to find your place especially when you don't have much options due to difficult times. Yet time waits for no one and no matter what you decide, you still got to move yourself. Another reminder that life isn't easy.
Whether the term is crossroads or middle of the road, the meaning is still the same. I find myself moving forward only to move back again. With the passing of time, it's getting harder and harder to resolve that. Still, I'll keep trying and hopefully break this monotony. Not's not just about riches or fame, but simply finding myself is what matters most and I hope one day that I be able to do that.
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