Lately I've been feeling the weight of my age and the sad part about it is I have nothing to show for it. I'm hitting that point where you're at the crossroads of your life and you keep bouncing between first and second gear. The sad part about is when I see other people that I know and when I look at them, I begining to feel that I'm being left behind. With so many things to take care of as well as problems of the financial kind, the feeling of getting older really hits me hard in the chest.
When the hear the song "In Between Days" by the Cure, I'm often reminded of that sad fact.
This was one of my friend's favorite bands back when we were high school. I remember he even wore make-up and the same messy hair style. However this song reminds me of a sad time in my life when things were starting out great only to fall apart in the end. I don't want to go into details but let's just say a lot of things that I hoped to achieved went up in smoke and I spent the rest of the year trying to hold together or regain what was lost. I was lucky I was able to keep things secure academically and I proved that I didn't neglect my studies. However, I really felt sad because of so many hopes and dreams that fell apart. I felt like sacrifed all my dreams for that and when I remember it, it really stings.
That was one of the most painful periods in my life. It also made me a bit superstitious about comparing life to the seasons of the year where some are warm and fruitful while others are stormy and barren. Since then, I've been in deadly fear of the bad times because when bad times strike, it really is bad. Going back to the song, when bad thing happen it really brings you to your knees and it was during those terrible times that I felt that I would die. It was either that or the experience was so painful it would make me cry, hence the reason why when I hear this song, that old painful really gets to me.
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