In most of my posts, I often that life cycle that I'm trying hard to break. The reason for that is because although I was able to make it out of the bad times, I have never forgotten the pain I felt going through that period. The emotional scares tend close then open depending on cycle I find myself in. One thing I do remember was that feeling of dread during those when everything fell ap.art. Remembering that painful reminds of Toad The Wet Sprocket's song "Whatever I Fear".
What I hated most about the times starts off like everything is going very well then without warning, it all comes down and it comes down hard. What follows next is trying to pick up the pieces as well as that feeling of disgrace as you try to hide yourself so as not to be object of criticism. You feel like someone hung the scarlet letter around your neck and you do your best to stay under the radar while looking for something to make it all better. The worst part is when people bombard with the should've and would'ves while you no choice but to listen since you screwed up. I'll tell you it''s not an experience that I would want anyone to go through.
Still I firm believer in Henry Bergson's Shipwreck Theory where problems will eventually be solved. It all depends on how strong you to tough it out. Still those experiences still haunt me as I try my best to stand on my own two feet. That's why when I see people going through a bad period I feel sorry for them as I understand what they're going through. Stay strong and through look bad, you can over even after everything has fallen apart.
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