Ever had those times like when you're in a party and you just can't connect with the crowd or being in a place when you feel alone even if it's bustling with life? Well I've sure had my moments when I felt that way. It's a really bad feeling where you just can't with your environment. It gets worse when the people there are hostile. That helpless feeling that one gets from being alienated or out of place reminds of the song "Aliens" by Atlanta Rythm Section.
I guess the reason why I get so alienated is because I had grown so used to the environment that me and brothers had that when I went out to the outside world it was like culture shock. As I grew up, even I improved my people skills, I was very much a loner and the friends that I did often shared the qualities of my brothers which is why the circle of friends that I had was very minute. I guess it was because I was looking for a place where I could be my and do what I wanted to do. What frustrates me now is that since all the things that I wanted to be or do has now crumbled to dust, that alienated feeling still jabs at me since I now have to make do with what's there. Sadly, it's not much.
I'm not one to cry over spilled milk but it still jabs at me especially now that I'm getting older. I'm just trying to get by just like everyone cause this world won't stop for anybody. I just trying to keep trying till I get it right. Hopefully, when I do get it right, things will change. Then maybe just like this song, I'll find my way back home.
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