When People Fail You/The Longest Time I Was Angry: Shattered Dreams By Jonny Hates Jazz

You know as much as possible I try to chuck away any ill will I have towards another person because it would be wrong carry something that would eat you up and leave you hating the world around you. Despite that, there was a time when something inside of me snapped and I walking around with hate spilling out of my being. The worst part about it is that it happened at a time when I hit rock bottom. I was getting treated like a dog and every good opportunity evaporated like a mirage before I can touch it. After all that I've have done for others, all I got was a lot of pain and worst, a lot of lies. Everytime I hear the song "Shattered Dreams" by Johnny Hates Jazz, I feel a little tightening of my chest as the memories of that terrible period flash through my head.

I remember I was promised an opportunity to get into some kind of business and from the way that it sounds, I thought it was all systems go. In between waiting, I did also sorts of things for the people who promised this to the point of insults and shouts if I didn't speed things up. Alas, I found out that there was no opportunity and I was so crushed by that news that I felt my heart dropped to the floor and spirit left through my mouth. For the remainder of the year, I was so angry that I was oblivious to everything around me and I ended the year watching television in my room with my beard growing all over my face. I won't go into details about what happened but I'll tell you this: To say that it's cruel for people to promise you great things, then abuse you and break their word doesn't describe the whole bitter feelings that have taken root inside me at that time.

I didn't know if they noticed how angry I was, let alone knew why I felt that way. If they didn't then it scares me that they don't know how cruel they can be in feeding false hopes to others as well as abusing them in the process. Time heals all wounds and I eventually forgave these people, but sometimes I wonder if they ever realize what they did and if they did, were they ever sorry. Because of this experience, I became a firm believer in the Confucian Rule: "Donot Do Unto Others What You Wouldn't Want Others To Do Unto You!" I wouldn't want to do to another person what was done to me because it's the most cruel thing one person can do to another.

Johnny Hates Jazz-Shattered Dreams
by adiis