Remembering Our Loved Ones: It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday By Boyz II Men

Today is All Soul's Day which is the actual day for families to troop to the cemeteries to visit their departed relatives and maybe even chill out for the day. Despite the festive atmosphere, it's actually a sober ocassion where we remember our loved ones who have passed on and the good times we shared with them. I guess I should count myself fortunate that members of my family are still here because the death of my nanny and my Granfather, I never take that for granted. Ever since my nanny and my Grandfather passed away. I now know what the pain of losing a loved one feels like. Many times when I think about them, I wish I could've done more for them and maybe they'd still be here. Whenever I think of times and good people who have passed on, I remember Boz II Men's song "It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday".

Everytime I remember when they both passed away, I feel paint in my chest because they were both special to me and I did the best that I could but a series of unfortunate events prevented me from doing more. The best memories I had of my Grandfather was when he took me to a hamburger and sundae joint when I didn't want to go to a movie and when he told other people to cut me some slack when I was being criticized left and right during one of my bad days. My nanny took care of all five of us brothers from the eldest to myself and she did so with all her heart. Not a day goes by that I don't think about them and the times we had.

Many times I wish I could turn back time and done things differently and maybe they'd still be here. I remember I had two seperate dreams about the two of them. Both dreams had me talking with them at a party and the smiles they had illuminated the room and a feeling of joy was all over the place. Someone told me that means that they're happy at where they are right now. I hope that's true because they deserve it. Right now I hope that nothing bad happens to any member of my family because they are a part of me and though death is a natural part of life, it hurts to say goodbye this way.