As you get older, people would expect you to be mature and ready for real world. These days, that's not the case with me. As Iv'e said before, there are a lot of things that I missed out in life which left me feeling unsatisfied and that bothers me especially now that I'm getting older. It gets worse when you meet people from your past and ask you how you've been but can't answer because even you're wondering why things turned out the way they did. Billy Joel's song "Don't Ask Me Why" reminds me of the many questions in my life that I can't even answer.
It's not just about your past that's hard to answer. With the way things are, you're wondering why the present is the way it is. You try hard to change things but wind up repeating the same things really hurts. You reach deep inside your head and try to find the answers but for some reason you can't. It's either crap happened or you didn't learn from your past actions.
In the end, I guess you have figure it out for yourself. You'll be lucky if some kind soul out there lends you a hand, but in the end you'll be the one who has to take action. It's hard that the answers are so elusive at the times you need them the most. But that's life and I guess I'll keep on trying till I get right. As to how I feel, don't ask me why cause even I don't want to answer that question even if I could cause I can't face the answer yet.
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