Though I don't show it, lately I've been feeling very melancholic and alienated. I guess this is because I've been trying so hard to find a way to solve things here that I've been missing out on a lot of things. Each day, this feeling is getting stronger and I feel so alone in my dilemma that I want to go back to the old days when we lived in the big house in the old road. Back then, there was was less pressure, we were close and tight and the good times kept going and going. Longing for the old house reminds me of the song "Blue Bayou" by Roy Orbison.
Linda Ronstadt sang a version of this song but I'm a stickler for the original song. Anyway, every time I hear this song it really makes me wish we were back in the old house. I always get that far away look when I hear it. I guess the frustration of what I am feeling makes the feeling to go back grow even more intense. It was so much happy back then and there was not a care in the world.
Sadly, there's no going back. I'm left with what I'm facing and dealing with in the present and it sucks big time! Still, that doesn't mean that I'm going to throw the towel and curl up in a corner. I still believe that things will get better if I just keep trying. When that happens, I'll be at ease even if the big house is no more.
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