When It's One-sided: Let's Talk About Me By The Alan Parsons Project

A few months ago I blogged about how it feels when you get shut out of a conversation or not being able to share you're views and ideas.  A lot of times, that can really hurt as if you feel that you or what you have done doesn't matter.  Once in a while it would feel good, if you were given a chance to air your side and be heard with respect.  When I think about one-sided situations, the song "Let's Talk About Me" by The Alan Parsons Project comes to mind.

A lot of times I saw situations where some people are about to speak only to have someone butt in.  In the end, they sit there looking forlorn and left out as if they're part of the furniture rather than part of the gang.  First there emptiness because you've been treated like you weren't even there.  Then followed you start feeling worthless and the worst part is when that turns into pent-up anger and we all know what the consequences can be.  That's happens when things are always one-sided.

It's not that we want to be the center of the universe all the time.  It does when people listen and listen enthusiastically to what we have to say.  If they do that then we should reciprocate.  That way people can be able to understand each other better.  Let's hear what people have to say because we might just learn something good from it.

Computer Boom: Together In Electric Dreams By Giorgio Moroder And Phil Oakley

I am amazed at how fast technology is changing at this day and age.  There are now Ipads, laptops, desktops and even i-phones that allow people to surf the net and communicate with each other.  The computers can now be used for a variety of purposes from typing documents and spread sheets to creating graphics, net-surfing and even communicating with people via skype or through chatrooms.  It was a far cry from the technology I had when I was growing up.  When I think about just how much technology has progressed compared to the computers we had, the song "Together In Electric Dreams" by Giorgio Moroder And Phil Oakley comes to mind.

Man, I remember that we were among those who had the firs use of computers back then.  It was crude because you had to load the DOS first and that followed by the program diskette.  The few computers at the time and it was three students to a computer.  The image was green and I was not able to understand much even if the programs were just Word Star, D Base and Exel.  It wasn't until 1996 that I was able to understand how to really use a computer now that the programs are now easier to use.

These days, whether you have a computer or a cellphone, you can do anything in terms of technology.  Right now there are still some programs that I am still trying to master.  Technology of computers and other gadgets are now close to doing anything.  One day I wouldn't that everything would really be wired to a computer.  I just hope that I can catch up.

Nothing's Free/You Got To Do Something: Nothing From Nothing By Billy Preston

Not a day goes by that I'm not reminded how tough times are.  Just heard in the news that prices are going up again yet I'm not surprised.    To add insult to injury, we just got knock a peg in terms of finances.  Still, nothing will happen if you just sit there so you got to dig deep and think quick if you want to find a solution.  Got to think of what you can do and use it to the fullest.  This is something I learned after listening to the song "Nothing From Nothing" by Billy Preston.

Things are so hard these days. So hard that it's to take those instant money packages in the hopes that you get quick cash for your needs.  The hard truth is you really got to dig deep to find that thing that'll be your ace in this financial hole.  Either or go out of your comfort zone and try something else.  It may be hard but if it'll give you more income then why  not?

You can't wait for the fruit to fall.  You can't cling to others either.  Even if you do get help, the rest is up to you.  Nothing's free in this world so you got to do something.  There no such thing as something from nothing only nothing from nothing.

My Thoughts On The Net: Spirits In The Material World By The Police

A long time ago, it was very difficult to connect with people and communication and work were at a snail's pace when you needed to send something pronto.  You either had to send letters that would take a while or talk long distance through the telephone.  When it came to the telephone, you had to make your conversation short or expect a very expensive bill.  When the internet became available to everyone, it sure change the way people communicated shopped and worked.  Now everybody's connected to the web like it's a new dimension you want to explore and never leave which reminds me of the song "Spirits In The Material World" by The Police.

The moment one's opens the computer, the first thing you do is open the net.  We all have our reasons for getting connected.  Some communicate via Skype or try to find love through online dating.  Others want to play games and some are hoping to gain extra income through online jobs.  For me, it's about exploring and finding some extra income.  The funky thing about it is that it is like an out-of-body experience.  You're here in the real world but your focus is in the web, maybe with someone a million miles away.

In my office, we rely on the net a lot because we send and receive stuff via email. We also need to communicate post things via the internet.  It has made our work faster and easier.  There's no escaping it as it now affects all walks of life.  When I think of going online, it's leaving this world for the world in the net like a spirit leaving the material world.

Remembering The Rock N' Roll Nights: Burning Up The Night By Krokus

Remember those metal days when people rocked to the sounds of really loud bands?  The long and big hair with the leathers and spandex and gothic jewelry to boot?  Despite the theatrics the music spoke for itself.  Whenever I listen to a metal or hard rock song today it takes me back to those great times when partied all night till the break of day.  One song that takes me back is Krokus' "Burning Up The Night".

I remember the good old days when me and my friends use to walk around the corridors.  Some wore leather jackets whiles others had those medieval or gothic necklaces or rings that rockers would wear and of course the long hair  When the night came it was different matter, especially on a weekend at Red Rock (now Club Dredd).  That's where we dressed up in our most outrageous outfit as the bands blew out our eardrums with cover songs from great metal and hard rock legends.  We partied till it was closing time and staggered our way home.

Those were the days.  Nowadays I don't even know who the new acts are.  Music wise I now stick to the classics.  My hair is now short and my beard thinly trimmed as the leather jacket that I clean every now and then still hangs in my closet.  But the sounds still rock me (thanks to Ipods and youtube on the internet).  They remind me of the great times when we burned up the nights with hard and heavy tunes.

Favorite Television Show That Helps Cheer Me Up/Getting Along With Difficult People; Chico And The Man By Jose Feliciano

One of my favorite comedy shows when I was a kid was "Chico And The Man"  that tells the story about a young Mexican who works for a cranky and grouchy old man.  Despite their difference, they always get along in the end.  It starred the late Freddie Prinze and the late Jack Albertson and I always laughed at the contrast between Chico's youth and exuberance compared to the old man's introverted and stubborn ways.  I also liked the catchy theme song that gets the show rolling that had the same title that was sung by Jose Feliciano.

This was one of those shows that I looked forward to watching back in the day.  But apart from the well-written script and great theme song, there's another reason why I liked this show was because it helped me learn more about getting with difficult people.  Like or not, there are times when we paired with people we are uncomfortable with or in some cases very grouchy individuals.  I get that a lot because I try to get along with people.  Still, if you find some common ground with them, it can turn out to be something good. It's just a matter of finding out what makes them tick.

On the surface, people can be very different.  it's takes a lot of effort but if you really try, you might find out you may have a lot in common.  I guess that's why I get paired with the difficult ones.  Still every time that happens, it's a good learning experience.   That's what I got from that show:  a lot of laughs and getting along with others.

So Many Questions No Answers: Questions By The Moody Blues

No matter how learned you are or how many things that you have achieved, there's always that question in your head that bothers you day in and day out.  If people who achieved a lot have such questions, what more those whose lives are in a mess.   When problems pile up so do the questions,  What makes it worse is that there are no answers.  When there are so many questions and no answers, the song "Question" by The Moody Blues comes to mind.

It's bad enough that we have so many things to deal with but life can be cruel by throwing more crap along the way.  Times like that you really get pushed mentally and emotionally.  Still you can't give in to the pressure and whining is not going to get you anywhere. When it comes to crunch time, you have suck it up and find whatever resources you have to whether the storm.  Even when people help you, it's still your questions that only you can answer.

When it comes to answering questions, you're the only one who can answer them.  Whether you get help or you do it on your own it's all up to you.  Sadly there are some questions that we may never find the answer.  So many questions and no answers really suck.  Still you just have to keep moving on and hopefully things get better.

What My Ideal Room Would Be: A Room With A View By Tony Carey

Before a person can have his own place, the next best thing is a room.  When you're young you're lucky if you get to have a room all to yourself.  When I was young, I always had to share a room with my brothers.  It was only when we moved that I finally had a room to myself.  When I think about what my ideal room would be, the song "A Room With A View" by Tony Carey Comes To Mind.

When it comes to having your own, we all have our ideas on what it should be.  For me, it should be big enough to put the weights and the bench in so that when I wake in the morning, I'd work out right away.  I'd a have sofa bed so that I can have more space for the T.V., DVD and computer.  Most important is that it should have a good view of the City which is something cool to wake to as well see before sleeping. Heck I could save electricity by simply looking at the view with a drink in one hand as the memories fly by my mind.

Well right now, my present room is kind of crap.  A lot of stuff is being inside that I feel like it's become a storage room.  Well a room is still a room and that many people have that kind of luxury.  I guess one day I should fix it up.  That way it would be the next best thing to my idea of a good room.

A Storm To Calm A Storm: Quiet Storm By Smokey Robinson

Anyone who dislikes Smokey Robinson is crazy.  The man's magical voice works wonders for the soul.  A lot of times when one is troubled, all you have to do is play one of his songs and everything gets better.  It's better than a bag of Prozac.  One song that I'm listening to now is "Quiet Storm".

Lately, I've been troubled by a a lot of things that really stressed me out.  You can say that it sure has brewed  up a storm that nobody talks about but feels its effects.  I was thumbing through the youtube channels when I came across this song.  I gave it a listen and I have to admit I feel a little better. Smokey's song sure hit the spot.

Well, I still have to deal with reality after this.  I don't know when these things will be resolved but I still have faith that it will be.  I guess I just have to bear it a little.  Still despite the storm that's been brewing around here, this song about a quiet storm sure helps in calming me down.  A storm to calm a storm, how ironic.

Felt Like I've Been Picked Apart: No More Rhyme By Debbie Gibson

Yesterday I was watching a scene from the first season of the series "The Shield" where Dutch solved a case but later cried in the end because the suspect got under his skin.  Well that scene reminds of the times people got under my skin and I'll tell you it wasn't a pleasant experience.  It leaves you with a feeling that you've just been killed or worse violated.  It leaves you feeling empty like a discarded bottle and you need to be alone to get over it.  I don't why but it made feel like listening to this song called "No More Rhyme" by Debbie Gibson.

I won't go into details as I sank to new lows but one thing's for sure when that happens, it really hits me hard.  I know about the issues that I need to deal with and not a day goes by when I am not reminded of it.  Why am I or anyone for that matter get so stubborn about it? I guess it's simply because a lot of times I've been following what other say and after getting swayed by them, I still wind up on the losing end.  I know time is of the essence but these days I want to succeed at something that I want to do and there's very little of that left.  Yet when I can never escape the scrutiny and when it hits me, it's a bitter pill to swallow.

Right now as much I am trying to take this constructively, it still riles me.  To have this hanging over me is like being branded with the scarlet letter that will always makes me an easy target.  I guess I'm listening to this song cause I'm in a sad mood right now.  Hopefully, I can finally reap the efforts of what I am showing and everything will be resolved.  Till then, I'm listening to this sad song as I lick my wounds.  I really felt like I was picked apart and it's not a good feeling.

Is It From My Actions Or Is It Part Of Fate: Made In Heaven By Queen

Right now I am sitting in my room with a wine glass in my hand pondering about all the things that have been happening to me lately.  You know it's hard to take when the things you want to come don't and your worst nightmares become reality.  When it gets too much, you sometimes have to ask yourself why is this happening?  Was it purely out of your own actions or was it really your fate to have all of this happen?  As I ponder on this, I am listening to the song "Made In Heaven" by Queen.

Every since the millennium started, my life has been turned upside down.  Just when I think things were going great, something happens and it spoils it all.  Some would tell, things happen and yet sometimes I can't help but wonder if it's a twist of fate.  Even when you take all precautions, it somehow manages to get pass you and ruins everything.  When it's over you're left feeling bewildered and angry as you're left with the mess.

I don't want to be superstitious nor do I want to point fingers but sometimes I think that someone's games with me.  It's like that movie where the writer's work starts taking control of a person's life and all sorts of things happen.  One's I do know is that I hope one day, this bad juju would some how disappear and things would all right again.  Please don't tell me that this is my fate or worse the fate of my family.  If that was the case, then it would be useless to try to turn a person's life around.  

Want To Break Free Of This Prison: The Prisoner By Iron Maiden

After 1999, my life has gone to crap.  The years that followed gave new meaning "Life's Not Fair". If it's not one problem that keeps me troubled, it's another.  Even the few good times that I enjoy are quickly overwhelmed by bad developments that spoil my mood.   These bad developments are like bricks that are trying to keep me imprisoned.  This feeling of imprisonment brought about by all the bad crap life throws at me reminds me of the song "The Prisoner" by Iron Maiden.

These I feel like I'm walking around with a floating cage keeping hemmed in from anything that would make me happy.  The only relief that I feel is that if there is nothing happens. I always pray at the end of the year that things would be better instead something comes out of the blue and everything falls apart.  When that happens I feel as if the powers that be has played another cruel joke on us.  As if they're tightening the chains to prevent me from being free and enjoying life like other people.

As much as I believe that life is what we make it, I have to sometimes fight the urge to blame the MAN for all this miserable developments that plague us every year.  I feel bad when these things happens, it's like someone put chains and leg irons on me and it's bad enough that I have to deal with this on my own.  Well, if that's what they want I won't give them the satisfaction.  I swear one day I'll break free of prison that life seems to cage me into.  I won't stay caged  and I'll fight to the end just to be free, free I will be.

Be Careful Of Your Actions: Consequences By Robert Cray

A few months ago, I wrote a post about heeding the warnings that are already written all over the place.  They wouldn't post those warnings without a reason.  For those who don't heed the warnings and still insist on doing it, be very careful.  One day, something will happen and when it does, you'll be in a world of hurt. When it comes to facing the consequences of not heeding the warning the song "Consequences" by Robert Cray comes to mind.

I  remember when I watched the series "Dexter" his father always told him that there were consequences to every bad actions that we do.  Even before that series, I was wise enough to keep that in mind.  A lot of people out there on the other hand, still want to play with fire.  The worst part about it is that they are unmindful of the consequences when things go out of control.  When things fall out apart and the blaze gets to hot, then it's too late.

I'm no angel but these days I tend not avoid getting into trouble.  I've got plenty of problems from past mistakes as it is and the last thing that I or anyone else needs right now is more trouble.  When you get into a mess, you no choice but to face and take the bull by the horns.  You have no one but yourself to blame was what my friend once told me and I agree.  There are consequences to every bad actions that we do and if we don't want to face

them, then we better not do it.

When Lies Are Better Than The Truth II: Lie To Me By Johnny Lang

One of my earliest posts was about the times when people prefer lies to the truth.  I remember using the song "Little Lies" by Fleetwood Mac for that post.  I wrote about it because sometimes the truth is so cruel.  It gets so cruel that we don't want to hear it anymore and would rather have someone whisper some sweet lie into our ear just to make us feel better.  Since I'm blogging about sweet lies I'm Johnny Lang's song "Lie To Me" for this post.

Sometimes the truth can be very over-bearing.  It gets to the point that you don't want hear it anymore.  There are times when you want to retreat to some place where you'd rather hear good things even if they aren't true.  You savor every minute and even if it is a lie you don't care because you've had enough of the truth which only brings you grief. Sometimes we can all use a little flattery to get us through the day.

Still, we can't stay in lala land forever.  Once we had our fill of the lie, we have to face the truth no matter how ugly it is.  Hopefully, we'd be able to turn things around.  Once we do, then we don't have to listen to sweet lies anymore.  But until then, a sweet lie can sometimes be better than the truth just don't get stuck in it.

Wish Such A Number Existed:6345789 by Wilson Pickett

With all the hassles and problems that weigh heavily on me lately, I turn to youtube last night to shake the blues away.  I watched a few film clips.  I stumbled upon one of the clips from movie "Blues Brothers 2000" .  One song caught my attention there.  The song was Wilson Pickett's 6345789.

For some reason this made me feel better while I was listening to it.  Maybe it was because of the promise that if you call that number someone would come and listen to your woes;.  Right now when my troubles bring me down with no solution in sight, it could bring a person down. At times when anyone is troubled, a soothing voice can sure make you feel better.  Even if it would be just for a moment, a little sweet lie would be good for the troubled soul.

I am not saying that if such a number exist, I would stay hooked to it.  When it comes to solving problems, you still have to take the bull by the horns.  Still sometimes a kind word does wonders for those who are feeling down.  We could all use a little cheering up when things are down.  If such a number did exist, it'd be tempting to call it if just to chase the blues for a while.

If Others Made It Through So Could We: I Made It Through The Rain By Barry Manilow

This rain sure is making everybody miserable,  It's bad enough that times are hard, but this rain is like adding insult to injury.  It reminds me of the bad situation that keeps plaguing us every year.  Still, I believe this bad stage won't last forever and one things will get better.  Having hope that this bad funk will end reminds me of Barry Manilow's song "I Made Through The Rain".

This last couple of years, sure saw a slew of bad problems.  What me is that just when the year looks so promising, something happens that keeps me on edge.  I won;t say what they are but I haven't had peace of mind since then.  Still, I'm not going to let this beat me or my family.  I know this will be resolved though right now, it's annoying the heck out of me.

I guess I've been letting it get to me too much but I can't help it because when others are affected, it affects me as well.  I guess I need to face this issues in stride.  Still, others have been through worse and made it out of the abyss.  If they did, I know that so can we.

Why I Hate Seeing The Roof Leak: The Roof Is Leaking By Phil Collins

Yesterday I blogged about how the rain hit our roof hard.  As a result water spilled into the floor and seeped out of the kitchen ceiling. As a result we brought out the the buckets to catch the water.  Every time I see the roof leak, it always depresses me.  It's a sad reminder of how tough things are as well how it always rouses us from our break time to attend to all that spilled water. Phil Collin's song " The Roof Is Leaking" reminds me of that situation brought about by that darn leaking roof.

This is turning out to be one of the worst years yet.  Just when I thought things were going to get better, things happen and everything's turned upside down.  To add to that, this darn rain won't let up and the roof is starting to leak again.  It adds to my depression because we don't have the money to get fixed.  For a guy who belt is tight to the limit, seeing more crap thrown my way is the last thing that I need.

No money and lots of rain sure is a lousy combination. Just when things can't get any worse, they do.  The rain isn't helping either and all that it's doing is adding to my depression.  That leaking is another reminder of just how much we lack funds to fix it and the new problems are icing on the darn cake.  I really hate seeing that roof when the rain comes and right now it really depresses me to no end.

Leaky Roof: Pumapatak Nanaman Ang Ulan By Apo Hiking Society

Last week was a bad week for Metro Manila.  Though there were no typhoons, heavy rains relentless poured everyday to the point where the streets were flooded.  It got to the point were classes and worked were suspended.  To add to that our roof seems to be leaking.  That leaking roof reminds of the song "Pumapatak Nanaman Ang Ulan" by Apo Hiking Society.

When the rainy season comes, that roof has always been a pain in the butt.  We did what we could during the summer to remedy that darn roof as best as we could since we didn't have enough money to fully repair it at the time.  I was hoping that it would be enough.  When those heavy rains let loose their load, it was not meant to be.  Not only did the roof started to leak but water started to spill through the pipes and we had to put the buckets and pans out to catch the spilling water.

Even back then, that roof has been a pain.  We've already ask several repair men to do something about and for some reason, when it pours, water starts dripping from the ceiling.  I guess I better tighten my belt and save up for that roof to get really fix.  It's either that or be tormented by leaking ceilings when the rain starts to hit the roof.

More Like Keep Your Chin Up: Stiff Upper Lip By AC DC

I know that I've been posting a lot of my grief in this blog.  It's my only outlet when things drive me up the wall. That's been happening to me a lot lately as some nasty incident would pop up and put me in a down mood.  Still, that doesn't mean that if something knocks me down, I will stay down even if I clipped good on the jaw.  Mustering the effort to get up even though I'm in pain reminds me of AC DC's song "Stiff Upper Lip".

This is more chin than lip though.  Meaning that life is never kind and for some reason, it could through a lot of crap along your way.  Sometimes it would to see what you're reaction will to its cruel sense of humor.  Well for me, it may have not knocked me off my feet but I'm not going to give the satisfaction of seeing me sprawled on the floor looking like a fool. Even if my brain is bouncing around my skull, I'm gonna and face this crap and take care of it.

Sure I get hurt a lot and sometimes no matter how hard you try be strong, you will get knock off.  It's just a matter of clearing your head and facing them off telling them "is that the best you can do?!"  Despite my down mood, things will get better.  It's just a matter of figuring out what to do.  Just keep your chin up and stiffen your lip.

The Radio Was Always There: Hand On The Radio By Henry Lee Summer

My 24K songs are special to me because not only do they remind me of the good times I've had in the past but they were also the only source of entertainment I had back then.  Unlike today, where you can surf, text or play online till you dropped, the entertainment back then was television, movies and yes the radio.  Of the three sources, the radio was always there. Having the radio on hand all the time reminds me of the song "Hand On The Radio" by Henry Lee Summer.

Every generation had something that kept them entertained after long day at school or work. In my case, television was a rare opportunity because there only two or at most three t.v. sets at home.  Most of them either featured basketball games, golf tournaments or the news.  As for the movies, a lot of them were either cheesy or on the B side.  Still, I had that radio my father gave me and I just it turn and everything brightens up.  All those songs filling the airwaves while I relaxed in my bed was enough to make me happy.

Today, a television set is useless unless you have cable and movies costs a fortune.  A computer is useless without the net and sadly the radio doesn't sound the same as it way back then.  Well at least, I still got my precious to keep happy during the week and on weekends, there's 24K on 99.5 rt where past comes back to life.  It remind me of a time when there the radio was there to keep me entertained. These these days 24K is still there on a Saturdays and I'll settle for that.

Helps Clear My Mind: Think For A Minute By The Housemartins

With all the wild surprises that's happening around us, it sure is hard to keep your bearing.  When you're in the real world, it doesn't stop for anybody.  Still, despite the hectic schedules and all the unpleasant pranks that fate often brings on us, there comes a time when you really have to stop even for a second.  This to clear your head and find out what it is you need to do.  I good song for that kind of situation is "Think For A Minute" by The Housemartins.

Man, this is another one of those prozac-type songs that help calm the nerves.  This is one of those songs where I'm in my aircondtioned-room with a stoogie in one hand and some  hooch in the other.  It really helps wash away all the crap an awful day brings.  More importantly it helps clear my head from all the chaos that's been happening lately. A nice mellow tone that makes you light as a feather is clearly what the doctor recommended.

These days my 24K songs mean the world to me.  Though I'm not a very technical person, I am grateful for today's technology for making these song's more accessible. Now my generation's time is now at the cross roads, the songs are the only thing that gives me comfort.  That's because they got soul that touches mine when times are tough. Helps me clear my head and face the world once more

Shaking Off The Bad Habits: Quit Your Lowdown Ways By The Hollies

If there's one thing that we all have in common is that we are not perfect.  There are some habits or even eccentricities that we all have that can annoy or even turn people off.  It can become a problem if more and more people get offended by these bad habits.  When it gets to that point, you better start kicking those habits off.  One song that reminds me of that is "Quit Your Lowdown Ways" by The Hollies.

What habits are we talking about here?  Being stingy, asking for favors but won't do any in return, opportunistic, mean and so on.  These habits and traits are a real turn-offs.  The more you exhibit them, the more people will hate you to a point where they might do something to you later on.  You won't see it but it comes, it comes too late and will hit you hard.

I'm not saying that getting rid of those bad habits and traits will be easy.  It will take time but it will be out of your system if you try hard enough.  It's better than earning the wrath of the people around you.  It's not worth keeping so shake them off while you still can.  It'll pay off later on.

What I Could Give: Everything I Own By Bread

Yesterday I blogged about the one prayer that I would want answered.  That's the happiness and safety of my family.   too seems to a hard climb, but if there was anything that I could give to make that come true, I would give it.  Thinking about what it takes to make that prayer come true reminds me of the song "Everything I Own" by Bread.

After thinking hard about all the things that I want to come true , that would probably be it.  Still, with the way things are, that

I know this song is about someone who would anything just to be by someone's side.  Still, it also applies to anyone who would want it that badly Sometimes wishing or praying for something isn't enough. There are times when you have to do more if you want to see these dreams come true.  The question is what are you prepared to do to make it happen.  In the end, it's all up to you.

When you say you'd give anything just to have it or make it real, it's a bold pronouncement.  Be ready to back up what you have just said.  As for me, if I do have a way, then yes I would give without blinking an eye.  The price would be worth it.  So long as I can attain, I would give what I could.

The One Prayer I Would Like Answered: Keep Me Safe By Peter Murphy

A few weeks ago, I remember while hearing mass, the priest said in his homily that when we pray we should not pray to be better people.  He said that we shouldn't pray for material things for that is not what God expects from us.  I agree with him and as a result, I decided to re-evaluate what it is I should pray for.  If all the things that I pray for doesn't come true, there's one thing I do pray for above all and that the Lord keep my family safe from harm.  Hoping that He would answer that prayer reminds me of the song "Keep Me From Harm" by Peter Murphy.

A lot of times, the things I pray for always comes up empty if I am lucky.  Most of the time, the opposite happens and I'm left to accept the unacceptable.  That's I bitter pill to swallow.  I can stomach that if its just about myself or my own personal aspirations.  But if something happens to my family, I'm afraid I can't accept that.  

I can bear being the fool of the family but it's a role I would not want others to go through.  So when something bad happens to any of them, it really affects me a lot.  They are married and have families and it pains me if something happens to them.  I don't mind not having my prayers answered about trivial things because in the end, those are not the things one should pray for.  But if there's one prayer that I want answered is happiness and safety of me and my family for they mean the world to me.

Another Song That Describes My Paranoia: There's Something Going On By Frida

After all the things that's been going these past five years, relaxation has become a distant memory.  Why do I say this you ask?  It's because just when things are about to look good, something happens and everything turns upside down.  Usually it would last until the year ends, leaving a bad taste in my mouth and feeling more paranoid than ever.  That feeling that trouble is just around the corner which is the source of my paranoid state reminds of Frida's song "There's Something Going On".

As I've said before, every time the year seems to start so well, something happens that floods my every being with anxiety.  It takes away any feeling of peace that I have left.  When that happens, I feel like to watch out for signs of that trouble is brewing somewhere.  Even when things are cheerful, I can't help but feel that something's going to happen.  When it does, it sure takes away the smile from my face.

I wish the good times were  here again.  I can't help but feel that there's some bad juju going on.  I just to prayer and faith cause I still believe that things will be better one day.  Till then I guess I have to keep my guard up.  You'll never know when that will happen but as long as my paranoia is up, I know something's going on somewhere.  

Be Very Careful About People You Don't Know: Don't Talk To Strangers By Dio

One thing I hate about these problematic times is that you have to be careful who you depend on.  These days people are so desperate, if someone whispers the things a desperate person would want to hear, he'll believe it. That's when you set yourself up for the fall and that fall can be very hard.  I know cause I made the same mistake before.  Being wary about what people offer you for your predicament reminds me of Ronnie James Dio's song "Don't Talk To Strangers".

These are very tough times and opportunities are so scarce, people are will do just anything to find a way out. Still, that doesn't mean we simply throw caution to the winds.  You really have to check things out thoroughly.  Apart from that, you have to be sure that you have what it takes to take this road.  You what they say, once you start, there's no turning back so be sure you're well-prepared.

Right now what I'm being very careful at every new idea being tossed to me.  Sometimes it may sound right but it doesn't feel right and that makes me hesitate.  I'd rather err on the side of caution.  Better that than add another notch of regret in my already scarred soul.  So be careful what people suggest to you, especially if they're stranger cause they may only be after your money and not your well-being.

Been Going On For A Long Time: How Long By Ace

Ever since the millennium came in, things haven't been going so good.  There always seem to be one problem or another happening every year.  Just when you think things are about to look good, something comes out of the blue and I wind up getting sick with worry,  This has been going on for quite a long time and every time it happens it stresses me out.  This is the reason why I'm choosing the song "How Long" By the band Ace.

Man I really yearn for the days when I wake up smiling in the morning without a care in the world.  Ever since 1999 ended, bad crap seemed to have entered my life.  Things that you don't know just suddenly drops a bomb and everything turns upside down.  Even when it gets resolved, something happens again and you're back feeling tight as a spring.  Life sure has a way keeping you on your toes and its not pleasant

The only consolation that I get is that eventually these things get resolved. I do hope the same goes for this situation does to.  But what I want most is that these nasty surprises stop shocking me and my family.  I know that life is full of problems but for once, I wish that were back to the way they were when life was good and there were no nasty surprises.  One thing that I know is sure and that these nasty sucker punches have been going on for a long time and I really wish that it would stop.

It's When I Think About The Plight Of Others: Why Should I Cry For You By Sting

Why is it that when people get lucky, others go down in the dumps?  Is it to preserve some darn cosmic balance between the haves and have nots?  Either way it kinda spoils whatever gains one has achieved when he or she finds out the other is in some sort of dilemma. That's why when I hear that someone I know let alone close to me is in dire straits, I can't help but worry.  When people wonder why I worry so, the song "Why Should I Cry For You" By Sting comes to mind.

I remember a time when everything was going right for me.  It was the best year of my life but then I noticed that people around me were not so lucky.  Some had problems adjusting to a new situation while others were having a hard time.  When I realize that, it really curbed whatever enthusiasm I had.  I kinda felt guilty that I was doing well while they having it tough.

These days, we all have it tough and I still think this millennium has been nothing but bad news.  Just when I think that we've survived the storm, here comes another one.  The worst part is is that it is worse than the previous one.  Right now I am worried about a lot of things and all I can do is hope.  Sometimes I worry to the point of crying and when some people wonder why it's because I care that's why.  

Don't Give Up: Don't Lose Heart By Dan Fogelberg

I didn't  blog for a while for after hearing some bad news.  It really jarred for me so bad that I got depressed for a long time.  Still, I didn't want to throw in the towel yet.  I still remember that saying about tough people outlasting tough times. I'm blogging right now to remind people of that.  Dan Fogelberg's song "Don't Loose Heart" is a good choice for this post.

This post I dedicate to those who have are a lot of problems right now (me included).  There are a lot of times when I felt like throwing the towel yet four important people always told not give and roll with whatever life is throwing at you.  Times can be good and times can be bad but what those four told me has never left my heart and my mind.  Even things fall apart, that lesson always keeps me going and right now I still am trying even if the odds are against me.


They say things are over if you let them.  I've given up on a lot of things and as a result I have to make do with what's left.  I don't want to see those I care for go through that.  For you guys out there who are going through a tough time please lose heart. Hang in there and things will get better.