As always, things around here can get a little crazy, especially when some people here want something, they just got to have it, even if it means wearing you out physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. This is what I've been feeling lately which is why I feel that I've betrayed the entry I made regarding the song "Let It Be" by the Beatles (the reasons I'll explain in my next entry). I don't mind looking after people around here since I'm the only left who can do it. The problem is that it's starting to put a strain on me and I've noticed that I've been getting very irritated from the stress caused by the constant hassle. The worst part about getting mad about it is when I blow up due to the pressure and once I cooled down and realize that I've hurt others' feelings, I then feel bad because I've lost control and I failed to keep up to my promise to take care of them. Trying to come through for people you care about is really tough as well as stressful and that's why the song "Anyway You Want It" by Journey was on my head since last night.
Whenever I hear this song, it's all about having it no matter what it takes to get it. The beat of this song alone gives you an idea of how intense they got to have it. Problem is that they never thought about the pains that it took just to get it. Usually the people who made it happen wind up on the floor exhausted, grip their chest and breathing heavily and the worst part about is that they're made to do more. It's either that or the whole place goes into armaggedon where nobody is spared. Explosion or implosion, either way, everybody winds up miserable if these people don't get what they want.
Man, I guess that's the reason why I try not to ask too much from people anymore. After what I've been going through with these guys when they suddenly get the itch when I'm so tired is something I won't do to others. Man just when you think you're done for the day, there they go again. Still, I care about these people and I want to take care of them, but all that I'm asking for is a little slack because it's starting to get to me already. I still want to help them with what they want to do and the reason for that is because I CARE about them and I don't want to dissappoint them anymore, though I hope God grants me some more strength and patience in this situation.
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