One of the saddest memories that I had was when I received a phonecall from my brother's classmate telling me that her brother who was my highschool batchmate passed away and asked if I can visit his wake. This happened when I recently lost a job due to reorganization and as I spent days that turned into weeks that turned into months looking for another job and now this just came in. Man, just when I thought that things couldn't get any worse and I was really sadden by the news. I went with a friend to where his remains were at and I was shocked at how gaunt and frail his appearance was. Whenever I remember that night, I think about the song, "It's A Shame About Ray" by The Lemonheads.
I think a lot about him when I hear RT play this song on a Friday. I remember how his elder sibling told us what happened to him before he died. Hearing about it really made me sad especially about how he lost his job which led to his being depressed and reclusive. I can relate about what she told us regarding how he felt like he'd to ask permission for anything as if he didn't have the right to it even if his sibling cared for him and provided him with what he needed. His smoking and the depression did him in eventually. As I looked at him, I kept saying to myself that it could have been me in that coffin and that both scared and sadden me.
During the time when I lost my job for a second time, I felt that I not only lost my source of income but also my dignity as well, making me feel that I didn't have the right to demand anything. Seeing him go that way made me wonder if he kept in touch with friends, could this have been prevented. When she talks about how he kept to himself in his room, I remember those days when I had no one to turn to and the only difference is that I didn't to give up. I wish he didn't give up too and after that night, not a day goes by when I don't think about him even though we weren't that close. Here's hoping that he's in a better place with a lot of good people.
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