Some people might think I'm crazy for mentioning this, but lately I've been having this paranoid feeling that my life is going around in an cycle where everything is already fortold. I mean the time, the place and people may be different, but I feel that I'm acting out the same script over and over again. Right now, I'm at a precarious situation due to some disturbing developments that have left me very uneasy. I fear that I'm relive a very awful experience that I went through in the past which I don't want to happen. This paranoid feeling reminds me of the song "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake.
The only difference between my cycle and what the singer is going through in the song is that it he talks about falling in love while I'm thinking about falling into a void which is something that I dread the most. Still, there are some similarities that the singer in the song and I have in common is that we both don't know where we are going but we sure know where we've been and I don't want to go back there. Another is that we both wind up alone, especially me since I tend to burn bridges which I'm trying not to do. Right now, there's too many changes that are happening to fast and I don't what to do since it took me by surprise.
They say those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it and that's pretty ironic for guy who briefly taught history. One thing I do know is that I don't want to go through that awful cycle again, especially now that I'm getting older. I'm just a guy who made many bad judgements and making do with what's left. The last thing I don't for me or any member of my family is to fall into that void that I endured for a long period of time. That's why to God not to let me or my family experience that kind of pain because the last time, I almost went crazy and if I go through it again, it'll break my heart.
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