As I have mentioned time and time again, one of my biggest fears is to repeat the same mistake that caused me to tumble down. Not a day goes by when I don't think of the last bad period that I went through. I tried so hard to climb to the top, only to see everything that I worked hard fall apart. Right now, I'm doing all that I can not to repeat the same mistake that got me to the lowest point of my life. Not wanting to experience that ordeal again reminds me of the song "Come Down" by Bush.
This was one of my favorite 90's band, partly because this song came out during one of my bad periods where things just went to a standstill. After a while, things started moving and I was back on the saddle again. Life was good and I thought things would stay that way. Then it happened again and it was longer and more painful than before. Though I made it through that ordeal, whenever I remember all that happened, I really don't want to go through that again.
Right now, I've regained some of the things that I've lost and it took me a long hard time to get them back. I never blamed anyone but myself and the shame of that ordeal haunts me from time to time. That's the reason why I am so careful about all the actions that I undertake and think things through. I want to keep on moving forward do more not only for myself but also for all those I care for. The one thing that I don't want to happen at this point is to come down from this cloud.
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