I have to admit one of the reasons why I'm in the mess I'm in is because of the mistakes that I have made in the past. This is the reason why I try very hard to be careful of the things I do and the choices that I make. Everytime I make a mistake, it really costs me dearly and when the punishment is meted out, I really regret making it. It really takes me a long time to get over what happened and it really leaves a mark on me. Whenever I hear the song "Walk On Water" by Eddie Money, I get reminded of that feeling of fear about making mistakes because the consequences are always catastrophical.
Just like I the song, I'm no angel and every mistake that I made, I really regret making them. These days, everytime something bad happens, I feel my heart stop as the feeling of dread fills me being. This is especially true since the bag of responsibility is in my hands. Whenever something happens, I need to plug the hole fast or the screaming and ranting will start. I guess I'm doing this just to keep the peace for everyone, especially myself. I don't want people to think that I can't clean up my own mess or that I can't handle bad situations because like it or not it's a measure of a person's capabilities and I want to ensure everything here goes smoothly, especially with the situation that we're in now.
I know that I've got alot to do to prove that I can stand on my own two feet and erase the stigma of my past mistakes. Right now, I'm trying to do just that because I don't want to be remembered for the mistakes that I've done and people always remind me of that. It really sucks that people remember you for your mistakes, but it's human nature toremember your faults than your short comings, especially when you messed up big time. Well I hope I do straighten out all this things in my life and thing improve this time around. I don't want to resort to walking on water just to make ammends for my past mistakes because with the emotional baggage that I have, I don't think it's possible.
No comments:
Post a Comment