With the "ber" months now setting in, the year is once again coming to a close. And once again, I'm getting that desperate feeling that gets to me at this time for a year. The reasons for this is because the things I've been working on hasn't produced any results and at this point of my life, things are still "disorganized". That's why when I'm asked about those "settle down" questions", I really get stumped. The bottom line is there are still a lot of things that I want to do and things that I need to have "closure" before that happens, hence the reasons behind my restlessness. Santana's song "Searching" pretty much sums up the current state of my situation as well as my mindset.
That's the problem when you've made a lot of wrong decisions in your life. It's like an obstacle course where you're still stuck at one level while the rest are moving on. Other times, it's like you missed out on a lot of great things that other people were able to experience and though your chance has already expired, you still want to have that experience. It's worst when your dreams and ambitions don't come true and find yourself in a situation that you really don't want to be in. Things like that leave the soul longing and some think about what could have been while others won't accept it and continue to search for that thing that will make them complete. I'm trying to be latter as I still am searching.
Searching for those "missing pieces" and attending pressing matters can sometimes be one one tough juggling act to do. As much as I want to get that sense of satisfaction, there are other things that need to get done. Miraculously, I still attend to things that are important right now which means I still have my head on my shoulders and not on my butt. Still I hope that I will be able to find the things that I have been searching for a long time now. Until that time comes, I'll keep on searching.
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