I remember during one of those bad episodes in my life when someone promised me something so good that I thought it would come true. I wanted it so bad that I did everything for these people, even to the point of being humiliated infront of others because I thought it held the keys to my salvation. Imagine my devastation when it turned out to be another empty promise that crumbled like dust in the wind. That failed promise left me very bitter and I was angry the whole year round at lot of people who I felt used me and ditched me. When I think of that painful period in my life, I think of the song "Linger" by The Cranberries.
I never felt so jaded in my life after being betrayed like and the things I went through for a broken promise. After that, I was so angry, I didn't want to to talk to nobody at all. I wore a thick beard and I acted like a robot, keeping my hurt feelings inside me. When the holidays came, all I did was sit in room and watch tv and let it all pass by. It was a long time before I started talking to people again and if ever noticed, let alone knew why I was angry, I'll never know becaus all I know is that promise meant a lot to me and it was all a lie.
Right now things are atleast stable as I try to piece things back in place, especially now that there are a lot of things that need to be attended to. As much as I know that you should never hold a grudge and that you let it go, there are times when I remember that period, it still cuts like a knife. It's something that I don't want to go through again because it really drove me to the brink. The thing I can tell others about what I went through during that time is not to give people false hope and disappoint them in the end. It leaves a deep scar where the pain will always linger.
No comments:
Post a Comment