You know it's only in this blog do I really get to express a lot of what I feel. The fact that I'm getting older yet haven't gotten it together has really been bothering me lately. I guess you can say that I'm at that point of desperation where I know I need to get things in order. I guess that's the reason for my anxiety and restlessness. The song "Heart Of Gold" by Neil Young really sums up how I feel about this situation.
The older I get, the more sensitive I am when this is brought up for discussion. Yet it's something I can't or shouldn't avoid because I haven't gotten it together yet and the only way to put it to a close is to get things organized. Bad decisions, missed opportunities, being indecisive and hesitant are just some of the reason which got me to where I am. Despite outside factors, I know the end point rest with me so I don't blame anything or anyone for what happened. I just want to resolve all these things while there's still time.
Right now I'm trying to make some changes that I hope will turn things around. Among the changes include getting out of my comfort zone; trying new things; learning new skills and more importantly being more firm on what it is that I want out of life. The things that I do aren't just for me but for those around me. I hope that this time around, I get it right. Until then I'll keep on looking for that which will make me complete.
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