A lot of times, I often find myself wondering if things were different. Sometimes it gets to the point that I find myself wishing for so many things. I know at this point in time, I should stop wishing and start doing. I just can't help it because a lot of things that I wanted to go right just went wrong. When that happens, you often find yourself wishing for better things. Whenever I get into this mood, it reminds of Go West's song "King Of Wishful Thinking".
Although this song is about getting over a break-up, you can relate that feeling to a host of other failed goals. When it comes to failed goals, I have so many of them that I can fill a whole dumpsite. Everytime things crumble, like this song, I try to get my wits about me and say to myself that this will past. In between, I fight the urge to breakdown or lashout even if that urge hurts a lot. As much as I try to rationalize it, I feel like another stake has been driven through my chest, leaving a huge hole in my heart.
As I end another year with dismal results, I once again try to make plans for the coming year. As I feel the weight of my age and the urgency of the situation, I have to regroup and rethink what I have to do not to make this mistake again. I hate to admit this but there's been to much wasted time and opportunities that I can't let another chance slip by me again. I know it's foolish to be too wishful, but I can't help it. After all, some wishes do come true if we try hard enough and thinks smart enough.
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