Too Many Things In My Mind: Voices Inside My Head By The Police

I remember when I had an activity in a workshop I attended where people would write what they thought of a person's face when they saw them.  Whenever I get piece of paper, it always says that I think too much or I have a worried look on my face.  That was 17 years ago if I had a worried look back then, it's a heck of a lot worse right now.  Lately, I've had so many things in my mind, I don't get any sense of peace day in day out.  That's why I'm using "Voices Inside My Head" by The Police for this post.

These days, I've got the weight of the world hanging on my mind.  There have been a lot of problems that I'm still dealing with in the past and more problems keep coming my way.  The latest one has my livelihood hanging by a thread.  Whether I'm awake or asleep, these problems keep dogging me like voices that won't clam up.  I may look okay on the outside but my mind is so full of these things that I don't what to do.

I just try to deal with it as best as I can.  I am just preparing for the worse as my hopes were dashed last May.  I just hope that when I rise above it, things would get better.  Till then I do what I can and it's not much but it's something.  Hopefully when all is resolved, these voice will stop.

Really Need Some Quality Time: Time (Time Of The Heart) By Culture Club

With all the bum deals that keeps taking me by surprise .lately, I feel the need to have some quality time for myself.  Lately, I've been alternating from being restless to being beat and worse part about it is that I haven't made use of the time given to me properly.  I guess it's because I haven't found the answers that I need to get things started.   As a result, whether it's a day or month, I still don't feel that it's enough and I'm left feeling restless and tired at the same time.  The need to find quality time and be satisfied about it reminds me of the song "Time (Time Of The Heart)" by Culture Club.

That feeling of being restless and tired at the same time is not a good feeling.  You want to find answers or accomplish something but your body wants to have some time to rest up.  When it doesn't get done, it sure weigh heavily on you especially if it's something that's vital to your everyday needs.  When the days and there are no gains, that's a real bummer.  It's another reminder that you wasted good time over nothing.

Man, I still believe that it's out there.  I wouldn't be wasting my time if it wasn't because I was able to reap the benefits of it before and I believe that I can do it again. With so much at stake, I can't give it up now.  When I do find it and harness it, only then I can truly rest.  Hopefully, I'll really enjoy some quality time.

Still Out There Trying To Make It Happen: Cinderella Man By Rush

You know every time I try to do something new, something comes up and just ruins everything.  Right I'm experiencing that again and it's' leaving a bad taste in my mouth.  Yet despite all these setbacks, it only serves to fuel my desire to achieve my goals.  At this point in my life, I'm sick and tired of of having all these distractions that's why I'm doing the best that I can to make it happen.  Rush's song "Cinderalla Man" helps keep me going when times are tough.

Apart from the disappointments from the last few years, I also am dealing with a bunch of new problems that's turning my world upside down.   I know nothing in life is permanent and you have to ready for change but it still hurts because of the hard work you put in to make happen.  I'm just using that anger and frustration to fuel that drive to keep on going to make things happen. Like I keep on saying, I was able to do it before, I can do it again. It's better than doing something stupid.

Life has been throwing me nothing but grief.  Still, whining about it won't make it better.  I'm doing what I can to make what I got left real.  I've so much as it is and I have only myself to blame.  I just want to get some order and stability in life as so many things have fallen apart.  Nobody said it was easy but nobody you should give up.  that's why I keep going.

He Was The Last Of The Tough Dudes: The Last Rebel By Lynyd Skynyrd

In the midst of my melancholy state, I find myself my friend from my high school days who I wrote a couple of posts in my blog.  Man he wasn't cool but he was tough as well.  Yet despite that being cool and tough, he hung around with anyone so long as you proved yourself to be the real deal.  Sometimes I wonder if there any from this generation who would be as tough let alone as cool as he was.  Listening the song "The Last Rebel" by Lynyrd Skynyrd made me ask that question.

 What separates him from other toughies in my batch was he never had to swing his weight around nor did he had to intimidate others just to show that he had guts.  In fact, he was tough without having to act tough and you can feel it coming from a mile away. If a fight erupted, his fist would be the first one in someone's face cause if you want it, you got it. He hated the fact that there were negotiations going on and when it was suppose to be a rumble because it was wasting his time.  He was never one to start a fight but if a fight got started he had your back and that just goes to show how tough he really was.

I still think of him and my other friends fondly and I wonder how they are doing.  I doubt if I would see them in a class reunion because they hated to stand out.  Maybe I'm getting older but when I look at the younger generations, they weren't as tough as that dude let alone the guys before him.  They just act tough and get into trouble but don't know the meaning of what really being cool is all about.  As I look back, I can truly say he was the last rebel that school will ever have.

Another Song That Encourages Me To Keep On Trying: Just A Loser By Robert Cray

Lately the problems have been piling up around me one after another and this blog is the only venue where I can vent my frustrations about it.  I can bear if it's just me but lately even people I care about have been having a hard time lately.  Still, that doesn't mean that I'll curl up and hide.  Despite the setbacks and the pile-ups, I am still determine to keep on trying till I get it right. I can Robert Cray's Song "Just A Loser" to that lists of songs about trying again despite repeated failure.

This lasts couple of years have stressed us all out.  The worse part of it all is that problems are getting bigger and more difficult.  As of now, all of us are feeling the pressure and things that we thought would remedy the situation turned out to be a dud.   Still though I haven't gotten it right, I won't quit.  I know the answer is out there so I keep on trying.  This is not only for me but for people around me as well.

You're only a loser if you give up the fight.  No one will call me or anyone around me that.  I know it's easier said than done but there's no other way.  I still believe I can turn things around because I did once and I can do so again. The fact that you're still trying doesn't make you a loser so cheer up and good luck.

Habits That We Want To Break: One Bad Habit By Micheal Franks

Ever had that situation where you make the same mistakes again and again?  You ask yourself why that happens despite every precaution that you make?  One of the reasons why that happens is because of certain habits that you do.  These habits have a way of preventing you from achieving your goals and that's why you have to find a way to break them if you want to succeed.  Wanting to break certain habits that do that reminds me of the song "One Bad Habit": by Micheal Franks.

What are these habits that often keep us from attaining success?  Well they can hesitation and doubt, laziness, negative attitude or refusal to come out of your comfort zone.  We don't want to admit but we all have some habits that often act as a distraction and it could distract us at a time when we least need it.  When it does get the better of us, that's it.  Everything goes down the drain and deep inside you know why that happened.

Our inner demons often produce these habits.  We grapple with them constantly as we make it through the day.  If we want to succeed, we have to break these habits as well as not to give in to our own fears.  It's not easy but if you want to make it happen that's what we need to do.  Habits are hard to break but if the rewards are worth it, do it.

That's All I Want To Do: Back On My Feet Again By The Foundations

The last five days have left me drained  mentally, emotionally and physically.  Apart from that, I still have to deal with this situation where I have no control on.  I swear there too many unpleasant things that are happening around here lately.  All I want is to get back on my feet and have peace of mind.  Listening to the song "Back On My Feet Again" by The Foundations always reminds me of that wish.

I wish I was like the character in that song where he had someone help him to get back on track.  The sad reality is that you have to do that on your own.  That's what I've been trying to do all these years and I still can't get it right.  Just when I think I spot something that might help, it turns into dust and I back to square one.  Now that I'm getting older, things just keep getting tougher.

Though it's gets harder, I still am determined to keep going till I find it. To be able to stand on my own and have some peace is all that I want right now.  I've been through too much tumultuous and disappointing years and though I have accepted the end results, that doesn't mean that I'm quitting.  I still believe that I will achieve that even though my good days have passed.  That's all I want to do right which is why I'm trying to do all that I can to get it.